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female
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anonymous
writes: I am really embarrassed about this but I feel that I don't have any friends. I am 25 with a young child and attend university, so I am in contact with people there, but they are either 18 year olds or very mature, and it is hard to find things to talk about. On top of this, most of my old friends have finished up university and are now in exotic places travelling (which I feel quite jealous about but try to be enthusiastic for their sakes). Otherwise they are marrying, and I have now been single for 8 months. This casts me out of the social network of couples. I do make every effort to invite people out for drinks and lunches and shopping trips, call often and take an interest in their lives, but I mostly feel that I am a bit of a chore and they see me out of pity. I am not having any real fun at all, and feel thoroughly miserable. I am only young really and wish I could go out in a crowd now and then and have a laugh. But I can't find a crowd!! Any suggestions welcome xxx
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 hunny it doesnt really matter how old these people are, the fact that you are attending university with them is showing me that you at least one thing in common with them. So use this as a building block to forming a friendship with them, fair enough you are used to having people around you who are the same age as you but now is a good time to start meeting new people.
18 year olds can hold a good conversation you know, even if you are older than them you may find that some of them actualy have the same interests as you. How about starting up a conversation with someone on the course you are attending at university, about the work etc then develop on to other things such as television programmes or anythin else that hot at the minute. Just to get a feel to what they are into. Ask them what they did at the weekend, about their family, if they have a partner, just things to find out a bit about them. Then invite them out for a coffee or lunch that day and talk some more. Don't hold back because it seems as though you feel lonely and down because you are not involved in a social circle of friends so now is a good time to start making some!
As for your other friends, don't feel as though you've let yourself down by not being like them and getting married and going off travelling. It just so happens that you may have something that they are jealous of and that is your child. These are your friends and it is important to keep contact with them, even if you feel that it is one way, still do so. I think that because you are feeling so down about them travelling and leaving you behind, this is why you feel that you are like a "chore" to them which im sure is totally not true. You are their friend, im sure they don tpity you at all and i think its about time you stopped thinking this.
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