A
female
age
51-59,
*achel2
writes:I am in a relationship with a man for 5 months now, we were friends for 2 months before that, so weve known each other more like 7 months...we get along good, and when i met him I thought i not be with another man again, because my ex-fiancee abused me so badly and then ended up leaving me for other woman after all that..but when i met my boyfriend he was so different than my ex, he seemed to care about my feelings, he treated me like a human being, - my ex near the middle and end of our relationship shut me down, didnt allow me to talk to him about stuff, or ask questions, he just would tell me to do what he said, etc. now that I am with this new man i have a couple concerns but maybe I am just making a big deal out of nothing?recently we were together visiting his friend, his friend mentioned how the other day him and his girlfriend were arguing, and my boyfriend said "you should have just shut her up.."that was about a week ago, then yesterday we were hanging out with that same friend, and my boyfriend started to talk about his old job, he said his boss was 'hot', he was saying she was a hot latina chick...i just felt kind of hurt because it made me feel insecure, we are jewish not latino/a, and i started wondering is that what he really prefers, etc.
View related questions:
insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Actually I see a red flag with you...You keep on comparing him to your ex..Now your ex was worthless abusing you and thank god you got out of it. Not that many women have the strength to do that. I know this new guy is so much better than your ex but no one is perfect. Leave your past in the past where it belongs. Focus on this new guy and trusting him. Has he given you a reason not to trust him? Now his reply wasn't exactly nice, but his friend could have a very annoying girlfriend or one who rags on and on, who really needs to be shut up. Not in a physical, harmful way. Him calling his boss hot is him again not thinking before he speaks, plus she's his boss and is unattainable. Kinda like getting mad at your boyfriend for saying Heidi Klum is hot.
I see no red flags, instead I see your insecurities coming out. And what woman doesn't have them? They don't go away even when you get married. Due to your past they're still going to be very present. But remember your past needs to be left where it belongs. Focus on your new fresh start with this new guy, give him a chance and don't nitpick at him so much.
A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (17 October 2010):
It sounds to me like you aren't ready to trust him yet. That isn't your fault, and it isn't his. I think your best bet would be to just let these things go, and move slowly with him. Take your time getting to know who he is as a person, and don't make the mistake of focusing only on how he makes you feel.
Figure out if he is the kind of man you think he is or the kind of man you wish he was.
...............................
|
