A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my other half have been togather three years we have our wedding planned for four months time. Recently i have been having second thoughts. We got together when i was in a very bad time and it's just recently i have been getting back to myself. I feel we rushed the wedding plans because it was expected and i think it's because i needed the security. So i tried to tell him that i was not ready and he blew up on me. We have built a house together as well. I just think i need a break from the rushing around! Can anyone help me?
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female
reader, sue88  +, writes (28 February 2008):
Change your age, my god i was gonna say.
You should now be old enough to no what you want and dont want, take a little bit time have a long hard think, if you come to the conclusion you definately wanna hold the wedding or stop it, do so, dont mess about this is your life, you only get 1 dont waist it.
If your partner has a hard time accepting this tell him to get on his bike.
Marriage is a big, huge commitment make sure your ready and he is the one for you.
Good Luck, i hope it works out for you.
Sue
x
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (28 February 2008):
 tell him that you need more time-having a joint finacial possession is simply not grounds for getting married.
tell him that the pressure of the situation is making you feel uncomfortable and that you need time to relax as going from one stressfull event to another is not giving you time to cope with things.
if he ignores your needs then you know where you stand
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Thanks for that - he has never been with any ppne else before to be rejected i was his first and yes i am not in that age range am in my mid twenties
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (28 February 2008):
I'll try and ignore the age showing on your profile coz you surely don't sound like anything between 13 and 15 yrs.Now what makes me curious is why the sudden turn around yourself ok you've given some reasons but i feel these are a make up of the real reason and i sadly sense that they two of you are not on the same wavelength of love.I know for your own peace of mind he should halt such plans but as a man who's been rejected before i can only imagine how he'll react.Forget about his reaction and seriously tell him that you are not ready for marraige.In a way you are doing him a favour.Imagine you went ahead that this feeling never went away?
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, gretchen  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Are you really 13-15 years old? If so, I would not reccommend marriage right now! You're still so young. How old is your fiance? If you feel the wedding is being rushed, say so! You have every right to delay the wedding, to call it off, whatever you want. Do not let your fiance bully you into marriage when you're wondering whether it's the best decision. If he has built a house for you, the house can wait! It's not going anywhere! When and if you decide to get married, it will still be there, and hopefully, if he is patient, understanding and loves you, your fiance will be as well. The true test of seeing whether he is right for you is seeing whether he can handle you delaying the wedding.
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