A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:The man I'm dating this year doesn't really give a promise of comittment to me but he wants to be together when he has free time. Although i try to accept it and i pretend to him that it doesn't really matter sometimes it's difficult to hide my true feelings. I don't want to reveal him the real truth because i am afraid that he will leave me. However sometimes i mention with hints that i would like a more serious relationship with him. He always denies it but he is friendly and shows affection. Although i want to be with him and i try for it when he shows his affection i am a bit of afraid because i think that i don't really mean a lot for him. How can i get over this fear and improve the relationship? I would like to get over the issue of commitment and not be afraid because he isn't willing to discuss it. I think that i can't realy get over this matter and i will ruin everything. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Why fear the things you know you want? Of all the people in the world why be with someone that is unable to fulfill you? There are others looking for what you are wanting to give. Don't sell yourself short, we all deserve to be happy and to live rich lives. Whatever you need to do to provide that for yourself, because no one else will, then do it! Fearlessly!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 I have some questions for you. Why do you want a commitment from him? Do you want children with him, or do you already have your own children and just want the security of a provider? I ask this because of your age.
Mid thirties, and if you are childless, and WANT a family, then seek out a man that wants to commit to you instead of trying to trap, trick or manipulate a man that does not want to commit to you. You don't really have time to wait for him.
You are playing the "I hope he will change", or "if I just don't piss him off he will see we should be together" games. YOU are the one that suffers at the end. Women have a biological clock, and can easily end up alone. Men do not, and we don't feel the pressure to get into committed relations UNLESS we meet a woman that so addresses our male emotional needs. At that point, a man stops at nothing to try to trap her the way women have tried to trap us.
When a man wants to be with a woman, he just does it.
I used to manage up to 5 lovers/girlfriends at once. Today I am married to a great lady. She is not the "hottest" or "youngest" or the "riches" one them all. She is the one that addresses MY emotional needs better than other women did, and I wasted zero time making it official.
-Frank B Kermit, author of Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test: A Man's Guide to the Emotional Needs of Women
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Hi Hunny.
Warterloo has it right hun, They run a mile as soon as the word commitment is mentioned its like they are being held down or back or whatever they feel, Give it time dont mention it again and see as each day goes on if anything changes when you do..He knows your not going anywere but your not so sure love be strong and just go with the flow ill sent you a link to boost your self confidence and you can gain some strength from this and you may see things in a different perspective
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/body_and_mind_60/77_better_living.html
Read this and I hope this helps to calm your mind hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Just take each day as it comes and think of it as the last day on earth. We don't know if we will still be alive by tomorrow or not.
Being with him is all that matters and forget about commitment issues because what is the use of commitments when you don't live long enough to see through it?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Some blokes are scared witless of commitment! Honestly they would run a mile at the thought of it. How long have you been with him? Dont push too soon or you could be looking at the back of his neck as he runs out the door. Take it steady and enjoy the fun and life you are having now. Life is too short for all this heavy stuff. Lighten up!!
take care
xx
...............................
|
