A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it just me or is this normal....I've been having anxiety problems about moving in with my soon to be husband. I'm not moving in yet, but on the day we get married after the honeymoon, I'll be moving in with him and living with him "from here on to eternity" - you get the picture. I am so used to having my own room and my own bathroom and having my own space. I'll be moving in to his condo which I've been to for so many many months. It's a nice condo with great amenities. I've nothing with that, it's just the fact that I'll be lying down next to him and being around him. I'll be cooking in "his" apartment and doing laundry and watching the telly and well...it just seems so overwhelming. I love him very very much and he has expresed his love for me as well. Is it just me? And I wonder if I'll make a great wife. How do I know I'll be a great wife and not a boring one or a terrible one....and what if I'm terrible in bed (I'm a virgin and proud of it). I'm just afraid of the future. They say that the greatest fear is of fear of the unknown. Maybe I shouldn't have to anticipate adn just be greatful that my man loves me but I just can't help wonder. Thank you so much and am I the only that goes thru this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Everyone,
Thanks so much for the advice. I guess for me, I am as you say, reluctant to let go of my private sanctuary and having my own personal space. I still live at home with my parents and enjoy the cooking that mom and dad makes for meals and having my parents around. I think, for me, leaving home finally after 40 years, is going to be hard for me. I cherish the time I have with my parents until the day I get married. I think it'll be bittersweet for me. It's a new chapter in my life. I know this is something I can do. I'm just sad thinking about not living with my parents any longer but I can always visit and they're not that far away. Thanks again everyone!
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Your concerns are completely normal. It's difficult and a bit scary to go from living on your own to integrating your life with someone else.
Give it some time to get used to his place, but if you can't get comfortable and feel like it's home then consider moving somewhere new so that you're both starting off fresh.
None of us knows in advance if we'll be a good spouse or lover. We all just take the plunge. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Loveless06 +, writes (8 January 2011):
I agree with both their advice. like i like to say cross that bridge when you get there. just relax and communicate with your fiance about it. it will help to keep open the lines of communication. it's all a learning progress and you will be fine. alot of people go thru this and they turn out to be fine because i have seen it. good luck to you and enjoy your wedding day and your life with your husband. make it a great one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Have you had marriage counselling? It sounds likes some is in order (you can get counselling by yourself if you'd rather do that). I think that the AuntyMaur's advice is good, especially the part about putting aside some money should things not go well. That may be the ticket to putting your mind at ease. Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Hi,
I think this is about your independance,committment,space and fear of the unknown.
You will be letting go of your safe haven,your escape pad, the private place which you call home, to move in with a man you love.Perhaps if he was moving into your place you would feel more control however your the one moving.
I think I would be having anxiety attacks to however I also think this is normal. Kinda like buyers remorse, fear and excitment all rolled into one.Once you step through the fear everything will be fine on the other side. You love this man and he loves you- tell him how your feeling, he may also be feeling the same way and you 2 may just end up laughing about the whole thing,sometimes talking is all you need to do to get it off your chest.The love between the 2 of you will get you through this.
As a precaution put aside a few dollars a week in a seperate account so you have money should things not work out...This will help you stay in control and keep your independance..I'm not syaing it wont work but it doesnt hurt to have a contingency plan in place.
Good luck you will be fine.
Stop sweating the small stuff.
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