A
female
age
51-59,
*shlee69
writes:My name is Ashlee my husband and I been married 18 years and we have 3 beautiful kids a son and two daughters, but I am having an affair with my son's high school basketball coach. My son is 16. The trouble is, we're both married. I had noticed how cute he was when my son joined the team, and all the Moms have crushes on him. But my husband really hates this coach and has clashed with him on more than one occasion. The coach asked if I could help him organize a team party. We met at a pizza parlor and ended up having dinner and drinks. He confessed he wasn't happy in his marriage, and asked me if I was happy in mine. When I faltered, he kissed me and I kissed him back, it got really hot and heavy, we went back to my house to have sex, the past few months we been having sex all over the place, his and my house, at his office and the showers after school. But we decided to break it off and make our marriages work and keep our affair secret, but recently i have been having morning sickness and last week my doctor told me i am pregnant, what do i do now?
View related questions:
affair, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, willyNilly +, writes (14 June 2014):
I was honest and never cheated on my wife in our 28 years of marriage and everything was going well till one of my employee (an Egyptian snake) who I provided her to assist her during out visit to Cairo manipulated her by telling her lies about a non-esistant affair with an Egyptian girl. She fell for it and gave herself to him as he was very sympathetic and overly caring for her despair. He saw ticket to make it to USA. I then caught them in my bed screwing. I wanted to kill both of them but then realized the aftermath. I then told her to go with him and never to return. She wouldn't leave and beg and cry and kept on asking for forgiveness. I was in a total state of shock and according to my psychologist in "denial" that this kind of thing could not happen to us. My wife had everything in the world she wanted. We were great in sex and there was nothing missing in our lives. She then confessed that he tole her about my imagine love affair with an Egyptian girl. It's been over 15 years and not a day goes by that I don't feel the pain and often get up in the middle of the night with the same nightmare. Why would a happy and satisfied married woman risk her entire life for such a stupid sex. He was half of her age then while she was in her early 40's but looked early 30s? Why is it that I forgave her but could not forget and everytime she's gone to the gym or shopping I suspect her with some guy? I can never trust her again despite my best efforts.
A
male
reader, fellini1973 +, writes (29 September 2009):
My oh my...Well...let start off by telling that what you did was def wrong. No matter how bad you say your marriage is, there still is no excuse for cheating on your husband. And to make matters worse...YOUR PREGNANT NOW! let this serve as a lesson to all the married ladies out there! There is no excuse for this behavior! Its time that you flat out tell yur husband & stop humiliatin him, not to mention yourself. If you were strong enough to have this affair...well then you should be strong enough to tell your husband. Now you may not like what hes gonna do cause most likely hes gonna cut you off or divorce you. Either way, you betrayed him & his trust. It always SICKENS...I MEAN SICKENS me...to see all the broads here at this forum defending these actions. I see it all the time...Its OUR fault...We didnt do this...And he doesn do that...So i had an affair! You have to take resposibilty for your action & come clean...You also have to accept the fact that you ruined your marriage & may have quite possibly humiliated your own child! This is def gonna be a sticky situation! I wish you luck! peace!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): You probably thought that just because you and your husband was going through a rough patch you weren't necessarily cheating on him because you deemed your relationship as over in your head - which doesn't excuse anything because cheating is technically cheating no matter what.
You want to let him continue the relationship despite him not knowing what you did to him? I don't think there are many sane men who would continue, your husband deserves the truth. Let's say you were a serial (yes, I'm comparing it to that) he would have to know.
And your son needs to change schools. To look up to and get along with a man that his mother had an affair with is also very disturbing. The man himself is just vile teaching your son knowing that he was doing his mother. Get him away from that man.
...............................
A
female
reader, zara first  +, writes (24 November 2008):
Stop destroying your life and everybody elses around you. This is simply a cry for attention. Get rid of bloke and move things on with your family. Go out with your friends and be the person you want to be without tarring your name and loosing everything in the process. If your old man don't know, then he should never know. Fix what you can and put to sleep the ghost of destruction. As that's what he will be when things get messy and he runs off with no regard to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, IndianGuide  +, writes (24 November 2008):
My advice as a man would be,
a) Get abortion As SOON as Possible
b) DO NOT talk to your husband. Mostly guys would'nt even know.
c) Go and clean up to your GOD. BUT DO NOT talk to your husband or the coach or anyone about pregnancy. It will finish your family.
...............................
A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Well dear. Everyone makes mistakes, although I believe you should have been the bigger person in the situation especially because of your children. Its not just your husband you hurt. I must tell you only because I feel you need to hear it, there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. I think you misjudged it. I dont know your beliefs and I dont mean to insult you, but you you need to have an abortion. AND do not do this alone. Tell your husband what happened and tell him you need him to go with you. Now what ever he decides is his decision. I guess if he decides not to go, you will have to go alone. Then again you may think of it this way, you got into the situation without him, you can get out of it with out him. I hope you don't lose your kids and husband. You should never have been so inconsiderate of your husband and his feelings. He is hurt, betrayed, and will now probably be an emotional wreck for years to come. I dont know if this situation is fixable. If you had those feelings you should have told your husband, before you cheated on him. OR at least after the first time. I mean one time is bad enough, but the way you continued. You need to think things through, and have more empathy towards your husband. Next time you get caught up in something so selfish you should consider your children. You broke them for the rest of their lives. I hope everything works out for you and your family. I hope you can spend the rest of your life making it up to them. We all make mistakes and we all have to face the truth. Good luck. (im sorry for ranting at you so badly, im sure you are feeling the guilt with everyone else ranting too.)
...............................
A
female
reader, Ashlee69 +, writes (24 November 2008):
Ashlee69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy husband and I are having sex now,when the affair started we were having problems. when I was having sex with my sons coach we weren't using protection, i don't know why. I want to be open and honest with my husband about this, and I dont want my son to know about this and hate me or the coach, he looks up to him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): This entire situation is just utterly disgusting. You had 'unprotected' sex with a man who teaches your son and who your husband hates (and this man is also married). On top of all this you ended up being pregnant with this man's seed (who, shall I remind your husband hates?). Talk about spitting on your husband's trust and respect, you humiliated him.In this kind of situation I don't recommend keeping it hush at all. Because of the magnitude of what you done here your husband deserves to know no matter what pain it can cause. Imagine if the positions were reversed, what if he slept with a woman who you hated and got her pregnant? Wouldn't you think that you would have to know something like this before you choose to continue to live with this person any longer?
...............................
A
female
reader, Ashlee69 +, writes (24 November 2008):
Ashlee69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know now what I did is despicable, I cheated on my husband and possibly wrecked my family. I do love my husband and I want my marriage to work, our marriage has been strained this past year. I will do anything.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): How about being honest with your husband and telling him the truth? He's going to find out about it anyways. Abortion or not. I think I would tell him over the phone because it's so devastating.
Start with I love you and I did something Very Stupid. He doesn't have to know how many times you did it. He might be the BEST husband and forgive you, then raise the child, OR give up the child for adoption. (Make a story up for friends and family that you want to give a childless couple a baby)
Are you sure it's not your husbands child?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): do you love your husband? if so, I would get an abortion. I am actually against abortions, but if you come completely clean, it's very unlikely he will not want a divorce. Not only did you cheat on him, but you cheated on him with someone he hates, someone whom he is perhaps jealous of. The right thing to do would be to confess. Maybe you can do so without telling him with whom you cheated. As far as the baby goes, having it will hurt him, your children, the basketball coach's wife...if you kept it, the child will grow up surrounded by resentment. If you put it up for adoption, you still have to go through nine months of pregnancy and your husband will have to go through nine months of you carrying another man's child.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): I don't know if I have much sympathies for you. You had an affir with a man that your partner hates. Simply put you've gone a bit far beyond cheating. You have to tell your husband and accept what happens then, he's probably not going to forgive you for this one so be ready for whatever comes.
...............................
|
