A
female
age
30-35,
*ixigirl11
writes:This guy and I went on and off for 8 months. We moved extremly fast, moved in 2 weeks of our relationship., the first time we split he said he wasn't ready to be in a commited relationship, and the pain felt unbearable. 2 weeks after I was just at the point where I was getting better and then he calls, and tells me that he misses me and wants me back. I took him back and we were happy, for the next 4 months. The weekend before we broke up, I had to go out of town with his younger sister, and when I come back... I found him with his 1st love (that ripped out his heart and stomped all over it) in our bed, and my stuff packed. His Ex- now continues to talk horrible about me, when we have never even spoken! For some reason, I am having a hard time letting go:/ I really need advice!!HELP!!
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female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (28 September 2012):
I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I think we tend to torture ourselves with how things might have been different if.... if only....(and a whole list of things that would have made a difference).
But nothing would have made a difference and you haven't done anything wrong. You got used by an arse and you must use this experience only as a positive learning curve for the future ie: spotting the bad ones and avoiding them!!
Please believe me when I say that you will move forwards and eventually be able to look back at this and it won't get to you.
xx
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 September 2012):
 It is hard and I understand exactly what you are going through. I think some time for grieving is necessary...you have lost someone you really care about, and then you were stunned in the process that he could actually cheat on you like that. Take some time to grieve and heal.
When you have grieved enough, you will think about wanting to be happy again. Get out and do things for yourself. Meet friends, go to events or things in your community that you normally wouldn't. Figure out what your interests are and get out and meet different people. You will realize that there are good people out there who will not screw you over. I did this with my ex...I started taking more chances and doing things that I never would have done when I was dating him. My life kind of opened itself up to other people and things I cared about...like volunteering at the animal shelter for instance. I will not tell you it is easy...it isn't. But doing different things will help get your mind off of him. I also make sure I exercise at least three times a week (or more if I have time) by taking a walk, a bike ride, or lifting weights. This helps with any depression you may have.
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