A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidMy bf of 3 years dumped me a week ago. I'm still trying to move on even though for the last 6 months he was very abusive (verbally and emotionally) towards me, called me whore and slut while dumping me thru phone. I know I didn't deserve it, but still mourning over the loss of the relationship.I always fall for the wrong men, I have to be in a relationship in order for me to be even content in life. Why do I do that, I am trying really hard to like me, some part of me always wants someone to validate me, I don't know how to stop asking for validation from outside, how not to lookup on others to give me purpose in life. I never really had much friends even when I was growing up, I was always a loner.I don't want to be like this anymore. Please help me.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (30 May 2013):
 i'm sorry to hear about your breakup, have you considered counseling? To help you rebuild your self esteem and to help you become able to stand on your own two feet without needing someone to be with you. Co-dependent?
Find out who you are and learn to love her. Love yourself and the right one will come along.
Concentrate on what you want in life and get to that person and where that place is. Make new friends, join a class. Swim class, sewing class, a gym, dance anything. Take kickboxing and work out some frustration.
We accept the love we think we deserve and you deserve a lot better than some guy who calls you names and dumps you through the phone. You deserve better and don't settle for anything less because you feel lonely.
Good luck to you!!!!! Everything will work out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): Firstly there is nothing wrong with being a bit of a loner, but i'll tell u from experience it makes it harder to break up. the best advice i can give u (from a loner herself) is to just try to see that you are an awesome person.
At the end of the day nobody should call u names, nobody should dump u over the phone and nobody should think that any of this treatment is okay. In saying that, we all put up with it even me, so you are not alone!!!
i too require outside validation, never think i am pretty enough or good enough and i keep thinking i am too insecure to have a relationship. but i am not. i keep dating people who lie then wonder why i cannot trust them? i keep dating people who call me stupid and a lunatic and a pain in the a*s then wonder why i feel so down and out.
strive for more. be alone for a while. be a loner and try to enjoy it. go see a movie on your own. go to a local game, join a dance class, a gym. do something. i'm sure u will make friends. just get out there and remember if u are not yelling at anyone, hitting anyone, calling anyone names or being abuseful u must be pretty awesome right!!!! take care.
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