A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex of three years finished with me in a nasty way in june - by changing his locks on me. we were continuously arguing about his children etc and he said he couldn't take any more. after a month he wanted to start seeing me so we both decided on taking it slow (what he wanted). after four months of him making no effort, not changing his relationship status to in a relationship on fb and only seeing me once a week, i told him 6 weeks ago that i wanted more commitment - he said its best that i move on because the way it was suited him. i've spent the last 6 weeks looking at his fb page about ten times a day, uploading photos of me with other guys on nights out to make him jealous etc but I've still heard nothing (he's kept me as a friend on fb). in march a treated him to a luxury holiday (he's up to his eyes in debt) and we had such a wonderful time. yesterday i found that he had deleted all of my pics off his fb (fair enough, i know thats what people do when they move on) BUT he had kept the photos of himself in tenerife along with all the photos of the hotel etc- the holiday that i took him on and paid for!!! he also kept a photo of himself pouring my champagne at my kitchen table last xmas! i couldn't help but call him, he says we're no good for each other etc. i said 'well i know u don't love me anymore' he replied 'is that right, u seem to think you know a lot about what i think' what does that mean????? ive found out he's seeing a woman with 4 young children since last week( she lives and works on his road). i can't believe he's moved on so quick as it was only 8 weeks ago he was telling me that I'm the love of his life. I'm gutted! is there any way of getting him back :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): This plan of yours to post pictures of yourself with other men has well and truly back fired by the sounds of things. He has seen the pictures of you with other men and assumed you have moved on- men dont kick up a fuss the way we do, they just get angry and decide 'okay time to let this one go' and thats what your ex has done. He has taken the bate-got jealous, but also hurt and angry and decided to move on from you.
Can i ask why you were arguing over his children? Was it because of the time he spends with them etc? Because this may have been the start, and the pictures of you with men the final nail in the coffin.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there is no hope. You deserve better than him as he has taken advantage of you financially by the sounds of things, you need someone who can pay you more attention and want to lavish you asmuch as you do them.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 I think the two of you were never on the same page or even in the same book as far as your relationship goes.
He kept some of the photes because he liked them and he could show them to others, without having to explain his relationship/break up with you.
It seems like you need to stop looking at his facebook and stop posting pictures in order to make him jealous, HE knows what he wants, and I'm sorry, it isn't you or the realationship the two of you had.
WHY would you even WANT him back? From the little you wrote you two didn't seem all that compatible.
Maybe he is seeing someone else to "get" over you. Or because she IS more compatible. People deal with break up in many ways, from what I have seen a LOT of men start dating someone new fast in hope that it will make the past & their feelings "go away" faster.
As for the:
'well i know u don't love me anymore' he replied 'is that right, u seem to think you know a lot about what i think' what does that mean?????
I think he is trying to tell you that you don't really know him or his feelings.
Time for you to let him go and move on. First step might be to take him of your friends list so you don't have a constant reminder on your Facebook.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): he has ended it with you and you will have to stop obsessing now, for your own good. the statement "you seem to know a lot about what i think" is something you would normally say to someone who usually doesnt listen and thinks for you.
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A
female
reader, xavima +, writes (4 November 2011):
Some people are very shallow and take the word love very lightly. I do n`t believe it is possible to fall out of love and move on in 8 weeks,unless the love was n`t deep enough to begin with. Uploading photos of yourself with guys is more likely to make him think you have moved on too. It looks like you are gonna have to class this as over now. At the end of the day,the faster they move on,then the faster you need to be without them. It could be that this is a bigger story than you could mention with his own issues not being heard by the agony aunts and uncles. Some peoples "love of their lives" are the latest one they are with and can easily transfer their so called love. He seems like he`s one of them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): I don't think there is much chance of getting him back, he obviously wants different things from you, and feels that he can't give you what you need. I think it's time to move on and find yourself someone who can give you what you need.
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