A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my guy for nearly 3 months. We spent all the time we could together for the first few weeks, and it was amazing, loving, we felt very close. Then he had to move away temporarily for work for 4 weeks. We met up last weekend and had a lovely time. Now I have just heard he will be working away for another 4-6 weeks. I invited him to my brother's place for the weekend but he said no, he would rather have a weekend just the 2 of us. Then said, "have a good time and I hope to see you over Xmas." That is over 6 weeks away. I can't believe he wants to pull away like this after spending so much time together and it has been so good.Also his mum has recently died and I know he is finding that hard. He had to cope with it alone, and has not actually told many people about it, but he told me everything about it, and I have been there while he has been sorting the house/will etc out.Also he wants to leave the country and had been planning to do that before he met me, then started saying to people, 'I was all set to leave the country, and now I've met B all that has changed'. But we have not discussed our plans in regard to this at all.I have to make plans for my own life, and it is confusing, not knowing whether to factor him into my decision making. If I just go it alone, choosing a job as if I was single, it could take me away from him, and that might turn out to be a missed opportunity. So I feel we need to talk about all this, but I am wary of crowding him and turning up to see him when he has just said, see you in 6 weeks...I do love him and up until now he has been saying and acting like he loves me too.I'm just confused about whether to speak to him, or whether, like so many articles say, men need their space and will come back in their own good time when they have processed all their thoughts. Men, I'd love to hear you perspective. Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): I think considering that he is leaving for 6 weeks, may be you needed to devote the weekend to him instead of going to your brothers.I would find it very sweet that he wanted to spend weekend just with you.
You absolutely right: you need to talk to him and be honest. its ok to show him that you care. Men need to be told. I know this from my experience. They are uncapable to understand little hints and moments that we girls do. Some of them even admitted that to me.
Dont be affraid to overcrowed him with your attention. He ll let you know if thats the case. They are good at that.
Do what feels right for you, trust yourself and dont be affraid of what you feel. Just be ready to accept any answer. I m sure he likes you very much, and the fact that you put him into your plans will flatter him. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): If you would like a woman's perspective - 3 months isn't long (especially as he is often away) and I would just let things develop a bit further before trying to plan your life around him. He may not feel comfortable thinking you are factoring your arrangements with him in mind. If you are still in a lovely relationship by 6 months then perhaps a level of permanence has been established and together you could look at things in a different light.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): Has he made any suggestion about you going over to where he is? If not,then you may be more keen than he is. Bear it in mind though,his loss may have a bigger impact than you can see. I would give it some time and if he seems happy at just seeing you at his own convenience,it would be better moving on.
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