A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a year ago due to him moving, and me being in uni still for the next year. Fast forward a year later, and we reconnected and are still in love with each other. I got a great job here in my city after I graduate in a few months and don't want to pass that up and he doesn't plan on leaving his new town either for a bit. So we both agreed to just take things slow and see where it goes. Basically I'm going to see him for the weekend and check out his city to get the feel of it. Even though we're taking things slow, and not talk about hookups (I'm not exactly bothered by that) but I am scared he'll eventually find somebody he really likes and changes his mind about us, and he's scared of the same happening with me. Is this a good idea? I want to follow my heart but I'm having my doubts. I'm terrified of getting hurt all over again.
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (21 January 2019):
 Nope, bad idea written all over it.
You broke up because you were apart, you are STILL apart. You are both satisfied where you currently live, neither want to move, how has the distance aspect been solved?
Complete waste of time.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (21 January 2019):
 He's your ex for a reason and in the past for a reason. Let him just be there.
You're meeting him, you'll end up having sex, you'll reminisce, the weekend will fly by, you'll come back to your life, feel like shit for stirring old memories, he'll go back to his life, and you'll never know where you stand.
Exactly what in this scenario is appealing to you?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2019):
 I think it really won't work out. And here is why.
You ended it the FIRST time, due to distance issues. and nothing has changed. You will STILL be living with that distance. He is HAPPY with where he lives and YOU have good career opportunities where YOU are at.
Usually when people break up and then get back together it doesn't work out BECAUSE the ISSUE that broke them up in the first place hasn't been resolved or can't really be resolved. Which in your case, is distance.
I don't think EITHER of you should GIVE up your job/ job opportunities for a relationship. At least NOT this soon, and not for one that didn't work with distance.
So, can it work? Well, I suppose it can, IF you two take is VERY VERY slow and can HANDLE the distance better this time. After a year or so, take it up for revision of WHAT you both hope to see in the future. Him moving to your city or vice verse.
I do find it a little telling that YOU seem to be the one going to VISIT him and check out HIS city. Instead of it being both going back and forth. Which makes he think HE isn't the one who would have to give up HIS "city and job", but you.
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