A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is an executive man I work with that is very hot and cold with me. I can tell in his eyes that is attracted to me. He stares - sometimes quick glances, sometimes long ones that go up and down my whole body. His eyes practically bug out of his head when we have cross paths and his whole face lights up.Maybe I'm imagining things, but I felt the attraction. It seems like sometimes the attraction isn't there though. Sometimes when he glances over at me working he won't say hi - which makes me think I'm imagining things. Maybe I'm reading into things too much.I know I'm at work to work, but I can't help who I'm attracted to. This may suond wrong, but this is the first man that I've ever daydreamed about sexually. It takes a lot for me to be attracted to a guy. This one is super intelligent, slightly older, really attractive, successful and in shape. He's the total package. Why wouldn't I want positive attention from him? Plus, it's not uncommon to get involved with someone you work with. This is not my forever job.Perhaps he's not interested at all in me and I only notice him because he's hot. Men NEVER ask me out. I'm in my mid twenties and I'm definitely not ugly. I take care of myself and have a good head on my shoulders. Even though I'm career driven, I'm just like other girls - I love to shop and do girly things. I've been told I'm intimidating to men because I have it together. I just want some male attention once in awhile. Does that make me pathetic?! What can I do to make myself more approachable?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013): Does the 'total package' include a significant other?
A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Well if your assessment of this guy is right I dont think you "having it together" will put him off. What might put him off is the fact you work for him and he may well be attracted to you but not want the complications that come with having a relationship with somebody in a junior position to him at work. I am also guessing you don't know much about the man maybe he is married or something. I'd say you are probably right that he is attracted but equally obviously there is something holding him back. In general, I dont think guys find 'having it together' off putting, it really depends on the individual involved and what they want from a relationship. It's absolutely true that some guys are more attracted to 'damsels in distress' and therefore your lack of obvious neediness would be off-putting to them, however, that is not a bad thing considering they are not likely to be the type of guys you would end up having a serious relationship with. Also, I get the impression your attracted to guys who have it together so like attracts like. I dare say this guy at work represents that. Try not to worry too much, be yourself and you will get the right type of attention from the right type of guy.
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A
female
reader, Mummy-bearX +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Be yourself with men , that's what men want.
In your circumstance it seems to me as though this man would like a quick fling with you but nothing serious in case it jeopardizes his career. Don't let this man get you down. If he wants you he will come and ask. If not don't show him your attracted as it's just more boasting for him to do seeing you hurt. Hope this advice helps. P.s I was in the same situation for over a year.
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