| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Marriage has always been a stressful occasion for my family members (though not myself). It seems that the elder people are not good enough to handle the situation when it gets stressful and they end up fighting and blaming each other. It happened in past during my elder brother's engagement and marriage and i had to intervene and take control. Now it's my time but i feel like a person who will have to be more of an event manager than the groom to be getting married. I don't trust anyone in my family who is capable or mature enough of handling things when it comes to sensitive issues like marriage. As it is approaching near, i feel overwhelmed as well as stressed and burdened. I wish i had someone who stood close to me and encouraged me. It's almost like a small battle for me to win though i thought marriage was meant for people to be happy. PPlease help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sam23  +, writes (10 February 2007):
Hi P,
You sound overwhelmed, burdened and stressed by this big event that is supposed to bring happiness. This is not an unusual reaction to have, many people feel overwhelmed by an impeding wedding, probably including your fiancee and your family. They are likely to be just as anxious that you have a splendid wedding and happy marriage.
Of course this is not always the case and when we plan for weddings the details of the day sometimes feel more valued than the love that marriage is a symbol of. But, you do not mention your reasons for wanting to get married in the first place.
Ask yourself, why you decided to get married at a time when it is acceptable to remain unmarried. Do you love your fiancee? - The answer to this question will give you insight into everything that you are now preparing for.
It sounds like you can imagine the wedding, but can you imagine the hours, days and years afterwards?
Good Luck !
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (10 February 2007):
 I don't know how long it is till your wedding, could you not cancel it and have a small private ceremony for you and your bride to be instead? I know family can get totally caught up in the hype of everything, running around like people with two left feet. It's just a pity you didn't think about this sooner from the shenanigans of your brother's wedding. If you feel this way can you imagine what's going on in your girlfriend's house?
Let them get on with it, that's what I say, they probably enjoy it all at the end of the day. As long as your beautiful bride turns up, that's the main thing. It is only one day and if things go perfect then great, if they don't, think what a great story you'll have to tell your children! ;o)
Eve
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