A
male
age
26-29,
*imeErased
writes:Hey Everbody, i really need help with this problem i have....im gay , but don't want to be...i feel that being gay was not meant for me...nobody knows im gay and itz killing me to keep this secret...itz taking a toll on my life and ruining whats suppose to be the best years of my life (teenage years) its also messing up my social life...i use to be talkative, but now i barely talk at all and i fell really depressed alot . i wanna turn straight but dont know where to start....this is where you all come in.....can you please give me some possible solutions to my problem....anything will do, dont be afraid to answer....and Please dont tell me to just be who i am and except myself cuz that wouldn't help get anywhere thank you
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male
reader, JulianYIvan +, writes (17 January 2011):
If you're gay, than you're gay and its nothing to be ashamed of. Of course you'll feel like its not right for you at first but you only have to adjust. What helped me is coming out, its hard but its made me very happy because theres no secret. But at first when you come out, you're going to feel exposed because you're secret is revealed. Don't be discouraged, you might feel depressed at first but you will feel better, everything will get better!! I promise you
A
male
reader, jd7x7  +, writes (17 January 2011):
I really wouldn't go with the people who are telling you you can change your sexuality. People who succeed are almost certainly bisexual to start with.One thing that might help is to look at all the very real problems of being straight:1. Men and women are vastly different creatures. With another man you know roughly how the mind and body work. [I'm assuming you are a guy.]2. Half the straight people I know are locked into a relationship that neither of them wants but they both love the kids. This is particularly painful for the men, because usually they get a very poor share of the kids' time.3. I once had dinner in a restaurant and listened to a rugby club who had booked the rest of the tables. The conversation was all: "Isn't it great to get away from the wife and be with the lads."4. Women will talk you into the ground. Even the nicest ones will do this. Be gay and save on ear-protectors.5. Alimony.6. PMT.7. Mothers-in-law.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): I am 30, I've been waiting all those years that I would change. That never happened. There are three gorgeous girls around me at my work place, all looking for marriage, they like me, hoping I would date one of them. I am the only bachelor amongst all guys in my company. Unfortunately, I can feel nothing toward them. I fantasize with that big muscular guy sitting next room, as I visit him everyday to chat and try to touch each other.
I still remember when I was 9 years old, I used to prefer playing with that male doll, and observing its body, imagining doing sex with it. At 13, I was keeping a magazine of men. At 18, I was watching gay porns.
I never did sex with anyone though, as being pious and coming from a religious family, no one knows the true of what I am. Keep hiding it.
I know one thing, I only erect when I see a hunk, a hairy fitted man. But when I see a gorgeous girl, I only admire her, sexually I feel nothing.
This is the bad story of my life.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (4 July 2010):
It doesn't matter how hard you try to be straight if you are gay. I tryed to brain wash myself into being straight for years, but nothing worked. All you can do is accept the fact that you're gay, if in fact you are. The sooner you accept that the sooner you will be able to function the way you use to. You are like anyone else except in the fact that you're gay. You still deserve to be accepted and loved. There is nothing wrong with being gay. To try to be something you're not would just be doing yourself an injustice. I know that this isn't easy, but gays have rights that they didn't have even 10 years ago. You can have a family and get married. So people will still judge you for what you are, but the hell with those people. And if you don't want to come out about this, hiding this gets easier with time. I wish you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (2 July 2010):
 If you really are indeed gay... there's no amount of anything that's gonna turn you straight. You can suppress your feelings and desires... but in the long run that will probably only make you even more miserable.There are relationships wherein a gay guy marries and lives with a straight woman... and might even love her... but everything I've found/read suggests that these types of relationships, in the long term, don't last. I don't suppose they are any more/less successful than the 50% rate for that of hetro marriages though.You should love who your heart tells you to love. Doing otherwise and/or suppressing it only causes suffering.
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male
reader, savior707 +, writes (1 July 2010):
Dude i think i had a similar problem. don't worry it's possible to turn strait but its hard and long (if you thought what i think you thought when i typed that then you may need more help). the first thing i did was get the confidence to ask a GIRL out on a date. if she says no then try asking someone else until it works. next you said that you are shy well once you get a girlfriend that should fade but if it doesn't think of cool things to say when you are alone so you know what to say when you are in a conversation. I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, darkeyedgirl  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Omg. Honey. Big hug. I know this isn't easy.A lot of people have been in a situation much like this, not just about their sexuality but in many realms in life. They find themselves facing an inconvenient truth.People have a picture of what they want their lives to be, sometimes hazy, sometimes very specific. They have a general idea of where they want to be in ten years, what kind of job they want to have, home they want to live in, partner they want to be with, if they have a dog, their car, etc. We all have this picture, and this picture is part of our self identity.When we are young we start by adopting the picture the people around us have and create FOR us. What your parents want for you, things like what your partner's religion will be and what they want you to go to college for, is passed down to you, sometimes more strictly than others.Where you are right now is where your future clashes with the picture you've always wanted. A lot of people in the same place will refuse someone who'd like to date them on the basis that they don't fit their picture. But life, and love, are what happens on the way to your plans. Sometimes you fall madly in love with someone you'd never ever suspect, someone you started off hating or someone of another gender than you'd been expecting, and you start to plan life around them instead of the other way around.If you already know you are gay then I trust my friend that it's because you have strong lusts for men. Whatever you or anyone you know may have against that I have to pose it to you that wouldn't it be SO nice to have really awesome sex with a boy? Don't you know you'd enjoy it? And wouldn't it be such a luxury in your life have something that you enjoy so much and that makes you that happy?If this is making you depressed that is not healthy. Being gay is not going to go away. Whether you want to hear it or not, there is no magical way to "turn straight." Honey I know it's hard but you are going to have to face facts, and the sooner you can be comfortable with the idea and with yourself, the sooner you can be happy. Being with a woman when you are gay you won't truly love her the way she deserves, and in turn you won't be fulfilled in the ways you need, in the end it would just hurt you and her, and if you are an ethical human being that is not something you should feel proud doing. You are going to have to be responsible.I've had a LOT of gay friends in my life and have seen many people go through this.You have to love yourself.You have to be true to yourself.You have to be comfortable with yourself.You have to be happy.I hope you try meeting some gay people and letting them show you how rewarding it can be. And I hope that in a couple years time you find yourself in a loving, caring relationship with someone wonderful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): is there a reason you feel as though you are gay but dont want to be? If you truely prefer men, then you should accept that. If you are scared about what friends/family will say if you tell them, dont be. If they love you they will accept it. If thats the reason you say you dont want to be gay, then you will always be unhappy. How do you know you are gay? Do you always find yourself attracted to men? Or do you feel as tho you 'have' to be gay? We choose who we love. Noone can make us be attracted to someone we dont like. Be it what sex or just a person in particular. You are young. Perhaps try and forget about whether your gay, and just enjoy time with friends. Be young. Enjoy yourself. Stop worrying about something that you shouldn't have to think about for a number of years yet. Good luck
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Well, being gay myself, I can say that we all have a phase of desperately trying to become straight, or wishing to be straight. The idea of homosexuality can be very scary. I assure you that gay relationships can function in the same way as straight ones. If you can, try to find a guy that you can go on a few dates with and a try a few things with before you completely reject the idea of homosexuality. Some men can change their sexualities, but most of us can't. When I got over my initial hatred of my own sexuality, I began to date more and more. I'm currently in a happy relationship, and we may be moving in together. Being gay doesn't mean giving up anything that straight people can have. It just means you go through a bit of a transitional phase. Give it time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): well i think that if your gay and don't wanna be then if you're a Man get yourself a manly woman who likes the things you like, and if you're a woman just do the opposite find a man thats more womanly and that likes the things you like.... look for love, Happiness, joy and laughter...
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female
reader, Cami +, writes (1 July 2010):
 Hi, I dont know if this will help, but what I do when I'm lost and dont have the answer, "I pray that God helps me", I dont know if you believe in God but he helps me everytime I need help or advice.
Dont know whatelse to say. This must be very hard for you. You can try going to a psychologist, you might just be confused. You might not be gay.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): I'm ignorant so don't expect the best answer from me. I think that you would need to find people who were once gay, or I would call it "ex-gay" (whatever that means). You want to ask them where they got their support and how they overcome that struggle. Personally, the first thing that came to my mind was a Christian counselor on sexuality-a psychologist with a lot of experience on helping with people who struggles with same-sex attraction. Maybe meeting up with a pastor who may give you some insights or help. I don't know a lot of supports that aren't religious, so yeah... If you want something non-religious, then I can't really help you on that area. Sorry.
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