A
male
age
30-35,
*eildo_08
writes:So I'm 19 years old. I have had a tough, tough life. My Mother had me at 14, she was a drug addict and and alcoholic. So therefore I was adopted by a single woman I lived with her for pretty much all of my childhood during that childhood I was molested and pretty much raped by one of my "guy cousins" She (foster mother) died in 2006 as a result of Breast Cancer! Heart break after devastating heart break. I'm a gay man now and have been since I came out at 16. I have been with a couple of guys (2) and have went all the way with them. I am so confused and frustrated because the only thing I want in life is to raise children without all the heartbreak I had to endure. I hate my life and the decisions I have made because now it is not promised that I will have the children and family of my dreams. I dont know what to do. I dont want to be gay!!! but thats all I know. I just wish I wasnt here. I should have never been born. I...I...I'm crying.
View related questions:
alcoholic, cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): hey life is tuff!!!! but you dont need to forget what happened to you. you need to deal with it!!! im not trying to be unsensitive, but you need to be forgiving ( TO AN EXTENT!!!! NOT THE RAPE!!!) but you have to realize, that just cause it to hapened to you, dont make you a bad person! or gay! in the have found the best answer to is to find love! i think that if you try that girl that is your bestfriend, that understands you(and wants to be with you). you might have a chance of the real life your wanting. but is the (REAL) life your wanting the life that you really want???? have you been with women and found youself really nervous? have you been with a women and nervous but done IT? are you sure that is what you want or are insecure like most men? there are a thousand questions that i could ask you, but this is your life!if the kid deal is the only thing from being gay( not wanting to love women) then you can hunt for surrogate mothers that let you sperm there egg! no matter what you decide it has to be your decision (not society)!!!! well good luck and i hope that you have found what you are looking for! ( sorry! i didnt find this until tonight) goodluck!!!!!!
A
male
reader, lboy  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 dear reader, i think you are so brave to put up with everything you have had to face in life, i admire you for it actually. But like loving arms said, all that is behind you, that was the start of your life, you've got a long way to go until you reach the finishing line. and you can have the future you want, if you are gay then there are lots of ways things can go. you can adopt a child or maybe try artificial insemination with a close friend who also wants children. but if i was in your situation and had seen the things you have and been through the same torment, i would adopt, imagine the feeling of knowing that that child will never have to face the terrors you have, imagine how good it will feel to give that child the things you never had, imagine how good it will feel to watch that child grow in a strong and independant person who can stand on there own two feet and face the world head on with no fears and no regrets. think about it, raising a foster child would be great in the end, it'll be tough and there will be alot of struggles and petty scwabbles but you know every teenager is the same :P, i think you should sit yourself down and think through all your options, but keep an open mind and try and look beyond tomorrow try and lay the next few year in front of you, that way all the troubles around you wont seem to matter because you'll be aiming toward something more important than all of it, a happy ending.i hope this advice helps you.good lucklboyxx
...............................
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (19 March 2009):
 I agree with loving arms. Listen to her sound advice!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Dark_Babe +, writes (19 March 2009):
I am really sorry about everything that has happened to you. But things happen for reasons you may never know. All you can do is learn from them. If you are gay or if you aren't, you are you. Nothing can change that. I am lesbian and have been out for about 4 years now. I was rough in the beginging as well. But I think you are a wonderful person. Just take life in stride and most of all be happy!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Hi, My heart really goes out to you! You've been through so much, and the cousin that abused you deserves castration (sorry, but my protective instincts just kicked in). You've got a good heart, and you'll make a good dad because you care so much to have children. Gay relationships are all you've ever known, but it's YOUR life, and you don't have to be gay if you don't want to. But you need to talk to someone to help you. I found a site called 'homosexual deprogramming ministry' It's about men that feel they've been deceived by people or society, and they want to be straight. The past is part of your life, but you don't have to accept it for your future. There are woman out there that are understanding, and would love you no matter what. (I personally think homo feelings fade the longer you're in love with your woman) I believe in you. You can have a fresh start. You're very young and have alot to look forward to. Love to you!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I think that when you were raped it formed a seed, and as you grew,so did thoughs thoughts.Some people are formatted to be gay and others its because of something that happened in growing up.I think if you have a dream to have a family then run with it.Theres a saying let go of what will hurt you,so release it,and look tords your future and not to the past.
...............................
A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (18 March 2009):
Congratulations you on managing to overcome the sad start to your life. But mate, that's exactly what it was, the start. You have years ahead of you to enjoy and love life.
As mentioned before, you might just have to find 'you' so don't label yourself gay just yet. Even if you are gay you can foster and adopt a child. Imagine how wonderful you would be at loving a little person in need of feeling safe and wanted. You above most people would understand the fears and needs of a child being raised away from its birth parents.
Everything happens for a reason, believe in that, and focus on how your life experiences can be used to help you build a better happier future.
We do not have to see our past as negative. Make a list of all the things you/your friends like and value about you. The past is what made you the young man you are today. Take your strengths and build on them.
Be happy darling xxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW omg I wanna give you a really tight hug rite now and want to tell you everything is all right but I can't _If you're gay then you're gay~ there really isn't a reason to be hating yourself for it. When I thought I was gay I was just telling myself how much I didn't want to be here and how I hated myself but my friends accepted me for who I am and I'm fine with it for now.....If you really love another man and if he feels the same way too then LOVE HIM! LOVE HIM LIKE YOU NEVER LOVED BEFORE! Kus he will LOVE YOU! He will be there for you! He will hold you tight in his arms and tell you he loves you! You don't HAVE to have children but if you want you could always adopt one just like how you were adopted by your foster parent. Don't worry! There are people throughout this entire world who care about you and want you to be here! Everyone was born for a reason and its not like you have to have kids! You should live for yourself! Live for the people who wants you to be here! Live for the ones who loves you T^TPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't hate yourself for being gay D: and please please please love yourself more! I know you've been through a lot but that is what makes you stronger.... You don't have to take this in all by yourself _ share with others and let them help you life some weight I hope you feel better and wish you good luck XXX
...............................
A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (18 March 2009):
 AWWWW sweetie i am so sorry to hear about your life, but you need to start hanging out with girls and trying things with them, you may find that you like girls also. Even if you dont like girls, you can still adopt a child and have a family with another guy, but why dont you try to go out and find a girl?
...............................
|
