A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 years old. I've been single for almost 2 years now and I'm completely content with it. As soon as I broke up with my ex, I was talking to other guys but that completely faded. Being on instagram liking people's pictures clearly won't help me in my future but I just want to know what people think of my situation. I hate going out and would rather just stay home. My parents are always saying don't waste your life and I completely understand them however I just don't know what to say. I am by far not ugly etc. for that to be a reason not to go out... I really just don't care and enjoy being by myself. Sometimes I do get sad but just thinking of my last relationship of 5 years, I don't want to deal with anyone's bull crap or have to worry about someone. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): If you're normally a outgoing person then your parents are going to worry that you're withdrawn.
Boys aren't the issue in that respect, you have friends don't you? Why are you not out with them?
OP I'm very much a person that loves my own company and is pretty much most comfortable on my own. I never feel lonely, I don't feel I'm missing out and I'm married to a woman who is similar and can be in the same room as me and I'll still feel comfortable in my own company.
If you're a similar person then that's okay. It doesn't sound like you are though, OP, which is why your parents are worried because it sounds like depression.
In fact it sounds like you're running away from people too. OP you don't need a boy to go out and be social you know. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to date to leave the house, and it doesn't mean you have to be involved with boys if you do go out.
Start living your life again and for yourself, go hang out with friends, go on trips, do fun stuff and your parents will be fine.
Not everyone is filled with drama, OP, not everyone wants a complicated life, surely you have friends that are easy-going and you can hang out with and relax.
As for boys, just tell your parents you're not ready for that yet. But you have no excuse to shut yourself off from the world, OP, especially when it doesn't help, those times you feel sad will become ever more frequent and the loneliness will build to the point where you'll be shattered.
Get up, dust yourself off and head out into the world again and enjoy being a young, independent woman. You don't need a man to be an independent, fun loving woman do you?
You know it's okay to be a single woman, OP, it's okay to not be interested in romance. It's not a prerequisite of enjoying life.
I'd say as long as you're out there living life your parents won't care whether you have a guy, but you honestly sound like you make us men too important.
Live your life for you, don't live your life for men which is pretty much what you're doing now. You don't have a man, the last one hurt you so now you have no life.
Life's too short to wallow, OP, forget men. Enjoy your life, see new things, new places and do fun things. Or do you need a man so badly you can't do any of those things without us?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): I think it's fine not to want to date or be in a relationship but that doesn't mean that you have to isolate yourself.
I don't date but I still go out socialising with friends and pursue my hobbies.
And, as Cindy says, human are naturally social animals and if someone wishes to withdraw from society it's usually because they have social anxieties or fear rejection from others.
I thinks THAT'S why your parents are so concerned. They don't want to see you in a relationship necessarily - they want to see you happy and enjoying yourself
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 July 2014):
 I think that the reason for going out is NOT, and should not be, just to find a boyfriend/ relationship or to get laid ! I think that man is a social animal, and everybody to some extent would enjoy / benefit from a variety of social, recreational interactions, regardless of their willingness to mate. And , ... if you just dislike people in general and are only happy by yourself.. still there must be something out there more entertaining and interesting than staying home and numbing your brain with Instagram !
So, yes, honestly, if were your parents, I'd be concerned too. Particularly if you have not ALWAYS been a natural born hermit or a sufferer of social anxiety , but this is a development following your last relationship / break up.
And if I were you, I'd give myself a push and see if there's any friends / hobby / cause I can make myself care about. And if I'd just could not succeed in taking an interest in MY own life ( not other people's in Instagram or FB ) , I'd suspect that I am depressed ( hopefully, only mildly ) and I'd see a doctor to verify this hypothesis.
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