A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my partner has a tendancy when we argue to be really verbal to me. after coming back from a holiday we hardly spoke in the car which we were in for 8 hours! it drove me mental and ended up in an argument. the next thing i know he was in my face constantly calling me an fing ugly fat slag several times, at this point i lashed out and hit him in the mouth.i could not take any more. then he told me i was a hard and lonely old tart and a freak. Said it was over and he was leaving and that i was lucky he did not knock me out. Four days later he still has not left and im feeling really uncomfortable in my own home. We have been togethter for four years but arguments get really nasty and he really lashes out with words.He never thinks he is wrong and forgets how much I support him money wise when things get tough for him. other times he is loving and so nice with words but now im begininning to think its all false. How can you tell someone they are beautiful and you will love them forever and in an argument tell them they are rubbish not worth being with a freak and a fat ugly slag and lonely tart then not talk for days. If i try to talk he walks out of the room or tells me to f off. its my home and i feel terrible in it? i dont know what to do as i hardly see my few friends that i have and im not sure wether i should try to say sorry although i think he would just tell me to get lost. if this is the case i dont understand why he is still here do you?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 August 2010):
If it's your house, and if you're supporting him, I have an awful feeling that he's using you for that at his convenience. Whatever happens, this relationship is just toxic. Whilst I don't think hitting him was the answer, I do get why you did it. This guy really treats you badly and uses words to control you. I wouldn't even try to fix this. I'd get him removed, as RCN says.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 first off...you do not owe him an apology. Perhaps it's time to get your friends back and have a ousting party at your house for this cad.
You really need to get him out of your house and move on with your life. Sometimes when women support a guy they feel inadequate and begin to take things out on the woman when in reality it is them they are disappointed with. However, these are his issues and regardless of whether or not you understand why he is feeling like he does, it doesn't justify his behavior. If he can't work things out with you with decency (and he owes you a major apology) then get him out. You should not have to spend your time, your resources and give up your peaceful home for him. He is not deserving.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 August 2010):
 It's your house. Tell him that you will not deal with this anymore and to get the hell out. That's what you need to do, or ask the authorities to have him removed. Possibly with his lashing out, you can get a restraining order, so he can't have contact with you, and by that order, he'd be forced to leave your home. You need to stop allowing this to happen. It's driving you nuts, and you're the only one who can get your home back.
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