A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy of 35 for 18 months who is lovely and kind and caring and we get on really well. However it really is bugging me that when we first met I found he had a huge collection of porn and I mean huge. He has downloaded years and years of free porn off the net and saved it on his computer. He hasn't had many girlfriends and is quite shy and has never been married or had a family. He said he used this for one reason only and at least he hadn't been promiscuous as he didn't believe in casaual sex.His porn is nothing weird just the usual soft porn. I don't know it just unsettles me. He seems really nice and I have no other eason for concern except he was previously quite visual with women when we go out and I have pulled him up on that. I guess he is not used to not having a free view. I am just feeling unsettled about his porn. What can I do. We have talked about it and he has offered to delete all of it to make me feel better.
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male
reader, honestman  +, writes (1 April 2011):
"I am just feeling unsettled about his porn."There is nothing you can do about it. Don't pressure to delete his years of free porn. He might have porn addiction, as most of us guys do. Fact: 99.99% of men watch porn, unless they are blind. If you give him enough sex, he will probably won't ever need to watch porn [as I did while I was living with my girlfriend]. Also, try to challenge him. Tell him that if he avoids using porn, you'll please him as he likes. Watching porn too much haves some adverse side effects, that some times real interaction don't gets you turned on. That is because real sex involves just one partner, while porn creates the illusion that you have a harem of many hot smoking female at your grasp. The longer that he stays away from porn, the more that he will enjoy your company. He'll later find porn boring, and will start to like that feeling that real sex gives, and that porn will never have. I just found that knowledge after living with my girlfriend. Right now we are in a long distance relationship, so sadly I relapsed into my porn addiction days... we haven't seen each other in 6 months... this is a very extreme situation."What can I do. We have talked about it and he has offered to delete all of it to make me feel better."If he accepted this terms, from the bottom of his heart. Then there will be no problem at all. I erased all my porn, because I felt I no longer needed it, and wanted to be there for my girlfriend. Also, she asked me to stop watching porn when I relapsed, and she kindly encouraged me to recover from my relapse.Porn IS AN ADDICTION... it is as addictive as GAMBLING.It is not bad, it is not wrong for a guy to have/watch porn. It is normal. Although guys get better without it from time to time. If you discover your partner looking at porn, instead of getting angry, try to be part of the situation. Seduce him (he is already turned on). Turn off the computer monitor, and please your man. This approach will get you the sex you want, and also will keep your man away from porn. Little by little, you'll own back his libido . I wish you best luck!
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