A
female
age
30-35,
*skRosie
writes:Hi,I no I write to you a lot about this kind of thing. You have given me great advice in the past so I hope you can do so again. I'm getting really down. At school, No-one wants to work with me on group work. I never get in a group with anyone I really like. All of my best friends are on the other side of the year, and I want to switch but I can't because my twin brother is over there in the tutor group I want to be in.Everyone always seems to ignore me when it comes to these kinds of projects, because I'm not popular. Even though most of the time, if I worked with nthem they probably would get good marks. By best friend on my side of the year switched over to be with his friends, but my other friend has now got really popular and he always gets into really good groups.Whenever we have to do work together he always takes charge and it bugs me because I never get a say in anything. I can't tell my parents coz they never believe me when I say that I am unhappy.What should I do?
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female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (16 May 2008):
 HeyI had that once aswel but not as bad as you have.It hard when you feel unwanted and that no one likes you but you can try what i did it worked wonders for me but it takes time.I changed my image i didnt want to be known as the nerd or the smart one i changed it. I became girly, i had my hair cut and styled but i didnt loose the fact that i was smart i didnt put my hand up first time i waited back. I made new friends in the class and those were the people i stuck to.Its a radical thing to do and i feel it has helped me as i am now quite popular. It is something that you could try but I admit its not for everyone.Give it a try you never no what will happen!Good Luck Babe x
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Hi, I'm waaaayyy older than you but I remember some of the feelings of feeling excluded in school. One so-called friend even started a 'hate club' against me, it was very upsetting at the time, but now I can't remember her name. She wasn't very popular and I think now that she was trying to make herself feel better. Well, that's nothing to do with your question, so let me talk a little bit about this with you.
You wrote: "No-one wants to work with me on group work. I never get in a group with anyone I really like."
Now, the thing is that if you are showing people in the group that you don't like them, well, they are not going to like you back. Try to think of some of the people in the group as having feelings just like you, and if they think you don't like them, they are going to ignore you. It kind of works both ways, if you see my point.
I remember that the popular people were nice to lots of their classmates and even if they weren't best friends with them, they still made some time for the people who weren't in the cool group.
Some of these classmates you don't much like may be having the same feelings you are having, and if you are friends with popular people, then treat the unpopular people in a way that shows you don't like them, they will begin to ignore you.
So my advice to you is to treat the classmates you don't really like in a way that is respectful and kind of like you might be friends with them. If you can get these people in the group to see you as a friend, then you'll be able to attract more friends.
I know this all sounds very complicated, but basically what I'm trying to tell you is that you may be coming off as snobby or mean to some of your classmates, then they talk to their friends, and there you have a reputation for being unpopular and people don't want to talk to you.
I hope this helps and good luck with school!
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (14 May 2008):
Parents don't always understand. School isnt the same now as it was for them, keep telling them, they'll soon understand you're serious. School can be a tough time, are you sure you cant be moved? Have you spoken to a teacher about your situation?
Most importantly don't try and be anyone you're not, popularity may seem important now but it really isnt, afterall being popular dosent get you good grades and better prosepects, does it?
Be yourself and if people don't want to work with you on group work, then thats their problem.
Good luck chick
xxx
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