A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm fed up with my boyfriend and his sexual carry-on. We've been living together for almost a year and have sex only once every two months. To make matters worse, he is absolutely obsessed with porn. Every day after he comes home from work he spends hours looking at the damn stuff on the computer. He has about 100 DVDs and the walls to our bedroom are plastered with dirty pictures. Last week I took everything down and he went and bought a stash of new posters. Im fed up.
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 I feel for you. I like a little porn now and then, but it's nothing more than an appetiser. It can never compare to the main course.
Of course, I wasn't brought up in the Internet era. We oldsters could only buy dirty magazines and movies in the real world. They weren't available just anywhere, and certainly weren't on tap in the privacy of our own home. From what posters on this forum say, it sounds like "porn addiction" is becoming a real epidemic.
And it sounds to me like your guy is completely and totally hooked. Real-world sex only once every two months? Bedroom walls plastered with dirty pictures? This is pretty discouraging if you value a decent love life.
Frankly, I suggest you find a new guy, because I really don't think a man with a debilitating habit like this could ever treat a woman the way she deserves. I won't use the word "respect" because it's a vogue word that I don't particularly like. From a man's point of view, the problem is that he should be treating you like his own personal sex kitten; instead he's treating you like a housemaid and a roommate. I really think you should find something better.
A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Hey. Ill tell you I found the same stuff going on with my boyfriend and my best friend has the same issues with her boyfriend. I remember growing up knowing a man wants a woman and will want it more than once a day. He lived to feel his womans skin on his and other parts. He dreamed of the moment that he would be with her. Now thanks to the internet and the growing number of the porn industry our men find more satisfaction and desire in those things. Their sensitivity is so hightened to needing that over the top stimulation that were left over chicken to them. Its a no win battle. Were loosing and longing for the day when we have our mans undevided desires back.
Sorry I have no advise for you. I can only say its just so common now thanks to the porn industry. Maybe we should all become porn stars ourselves. They would want us then. Haha. Hang in there.
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A
female
reader, britney spears +, writes (13 June 2008):
 if ur boyfriend wants to put the photos before u! u need to set an alternative. tell him u need to be put first and if he doesnt respond good then brake up with him. and just know there someone for everyone
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A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (13 June 2008):
 This man is not respecting you AT ALL! I must ask, why are you still with him?!
Your bf has a very serious case of porn addcition. He's looking at it at home for hours and I'm willing to bet he's looking at it at work too. There's really nothing you can do about the problem, he's the one who has to fix it. Like any addiction, it will take time and lots of effort to break the addiction...and most of all, he has to have the WILL to break it. The most you can do is tell him flat out that you're fed up with his crap and you're leaving if he can't get his act together. But it's only fair to warn you that I don't think this man will change. He's made it plain as day that he values his addiction far more than he values you.
I'm sorry, but this man really has very little respect for you. You can do so much better. Leaving him now would be a good choice, but if you really love him, then give him a chance to change. If he doesn't make any effort to break the addiction, then it's time to leave.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This must be a very annoying and frustrating relationship for you. I would not be able to cope with a boyfriend like that, I would have left him months ago!
I suggest you move on; find somebody who you can have a loving relationship with, somebody who will also satisfy your needs, somebody who will LOVE AND RESPECT you, as obviously this guy is not.
Best of luck!
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