A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am seriously getting fed up now with men. I am 30, slim attractive and I do get a lot if male attention. Every guy I seem to meet it only seems to last a few months and then I think it's going well and they disappear. I don't chase after them but i don't really like to play games either!! I have been seeing someone and we have been getting on so well he knows a lot of my friends too so it's not like I am any girl. He has just acted so distant and failed to make plans with me over the last few weeks! I have seen him as we have all been out as a group but it has not been the time or place to talk about it. Should I ask him whats up or is this just pathetic? He is 28 I am 30. We met nearly a year ago but then we ended up getting together at a friends country house wkd. We did sleep together but we have been dating since then so it hasn't really been about sex for him. On our dates we have even gone home separately. We have both had holidays in between too and come back and still wanted to see each other. This all started in June. Last few weeks he has been a lot more distant tho but I can't see anything I have done wrong. I have not been chasing him.. What to do?? Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 August 2012):
 Hi
If it keeps happening, maybe they are attracted to your appearance but then over time realise they are not attracted to your personality?
You can appear too distant and independant too, making it look like you dont care, or that they aren't special to you.Ask this guy, outright, why he has distanced himself,then you have a clue as to WHY it keeps happening.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 Ok well since it keeps happening and you have no idea why, I'd just ask him. I don't think it is pathetic to ask someone you have been dating and intimate with what happened. People like open communication and honesty, being around him and acting like nothing is happening is childish. Now calling someone who has no interest in you repeatedly is what becomes pathetic, there's a big difference. Just say you don't play games and prefer honesty so you would like to know why he hasn't been around much. I have always had success with a straightforward honest approach to communication. Without asking any of the men what went wrong you may never know, we certainly can't tell you. Also don't worry so much about appearing to be chasing men. If you are into a guy then let him know, say what you are really thinking. That is the definition of not playing games. It is always appreciated.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 August 2012):
I think you need to carefully look at the type of you like. Most people have a habit of picking the same type of person over and over again.
So if you're picking guys who treat you this way, then you need to ask yourself what you see in them.
Also, when you say you don't chase - do you mean that you don't do much at all? Because if that's the case, maybe these guys think you're not interested enough.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): it happens with me with women too, and I'm younger than you. It's not exclusive to men, but it's across both sexes
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 If every single man you meet leaves you without an explanation, then something is the matter with you.
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