A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It’s been a tough year, I was heavily depressed during lockdown however things are getting better and I planned a camping trip in the mountains with a a group of friends. Our transport and other arrangements were booked, I spent a lot of time planning and organising. Only to find out one week before 3 of them made individuals excuses and are unable to come. Which makes the trip very expensive and has also caused the mood the drop as excitement turns to disappointment. Some of The others still wanted to go so I asked them to get together and plan if we should still go ahead as my money is tied up in the bookings. I said I’m happy to go still. It’s now 4 days left, I’m worked 7 days (79 hours) this week, and no message, no update as promised. These are good friends may I add. I wish someone would ask me rather than me chase them. I know they all wanted to go otherwise they wouldn’t of agreed. I look forward to this trip to get away, especially after my long term breakup from my gf. And now I feel sooo alone. And I’m thinking of going alone as I’ve told work, other friends and family keep asking me. I’ve got to travel alone, costs will be crazy high but I’m thinking of still going. Anybody got any advice? Seems daunting being alone in dark up in some mountains. Than I fear I will be lonely and my thoughts will consume me. I’m fed up of trying with people. I tried being alone and self sufficient but I just can’t do it. I instantly feel better when I talk to someone about anything. Doesn’t have to be about me or current afffairs . Could be anything. I know these lot for 20 years. But it seems so normal to waste every evening in the pub but not care about the guy who has spent weeks secretly making this trip as best can be.
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female
reader, Alwin  +, writes (29 June 2021):
 It seems dangerous going alone, have you done this before? if yes I would go alone, if not consider your safety before money. If you're already paying for everything anyway, why don't you invite someone to go with you for free? when I was only working part time, years ago my friends thought I was depressed because I turned down all invitations to lunch, trips, everything, but I simply couldn't afford it and I was ashamed to tell them =/ Maybe one of your friends just won't go because the trip will be too expensive for him?
Human beings are social animals, we crave close proximity with others, hugs can reduce stress, make you happier yada yada, we love that. unfortunately as we grow older it's more difficult to build friendships because your friends are busy minding their kids-career-spouse. The solution, imo, is try to cultivate good relationships with your family and friends but also have a good relationship with yourself & enjoy your own company. I can relate to your last paragraph a lot actually, but other than be a good company, kind, present, etc you can't force people to spend time with you unless they want & if they're too busy for this that doesnt even mean that they dont like you, sometimes your job, family life has to come first and other areas suffers. It's just complicated. I suggest you take some audiobooks, podcasts to listen during the night if you decide to go.
A
female
reader, Raevin +, writes (23 June 2021):
I understand what your going through.Talk to your closest friend about how you feel am sure he or she will understand your situation and help you get out of the loneliness your feeling.
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