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I'm falling for a taken man... is he falling for me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *evan83 writes:

Right, im 25 and met this guy who is now 27 in a bar in february of last year. we had a great night together and he gave me his number at the end of the night. anyway totally forgot about his number then in july of this year i changed phones and saw his number. i text him asking who it was and we got talking. he was quite flirty and cheeky but didnt remember me. however his flatmate did. we've been texting ever since and there always quite cheeky and flirty yet we do have serious conversations too. we've tried to meet up but one of us is always busy.

i recently qualified as a teacher of history and he's already a teacher of geography at another school. He's always there when i need advice on men and stuff but i like him. We exchanged pictures and stuff and he remembered me from my picture. and said i was attractive.

anyway i knew from the beginning that he had a girlfriend as he told me straightaway. but when ever he's not with her he's texting me. On boxing day night he text me and we had quite a flirty conversation and we ended up having phone sex till 4 in the morning. we exchanged pictures and i like him even more now. he kept wanting to come round to mine as we live about 5 streets away but i wasnt sure i wanted that. i dont wanna be a home recker.

however about a week ago we had phone sex again. i feel more and more attracted to him now and think if he keeps doing this and texting me then things mustn't be good with the girlfriend. it was his birthday on sunday and i sent him a card for a joke with a free birthday sex token just for a laugh and he text me saying he loved it.

But i dont no what to do. i really want it to happen between us but i dont wanna become the other woman or lose his friendship cos as much as we've only met once. he is such a lovely friend and looks out for me and makes me smile when im down.

The thing that is really bothering me is that i got a text from him when we we're having phone sex saying ' i understand your concerns, i had a one night thing with a friend once before but we knew it was nothing more and it made us better friends, as long as u can separate it then there is no issue. and i no this is going to sound like a line buti promise u it's not. i think i know you pretty well now and you have a very confident, outspoken front but im not sure that is the real, deeper you. sorry about the cheesyness and its up to you about coming round. i could come to you for a drink tonight if you wanted. and for the record i dont feel i'd regret anything that may happen with you. and id always treat you with respect, im one of the nice guys :) x F ' thats the whole text. what does everyone think.

do u think he's sincere ...

i'd appreciate the help.

View related questions: flatmate, flirt, phone sex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

Sadly but you already are the other women, think about it, would you like it if someone you are in a relationship was sending flirty texts to another female and having phone sex with her? just because you have not had sex with him does not mean its not cheating, its called emotional cheating.

wow I feel so sorry for his poor girlfriend she probably has no idea.

HE is a player and he is using you, think about it he is theoretically cheating on you also.

I do not think he is being sincere, I think he is being a player.

Really if I was you I would stop and move away from this man and find yourself a nice SINGLE man.

I think in the end if things continue lots of people are going to get hurt badly including you, say for example he does leave his girlfriend for you (Unlikely) how do you know he won't cheat on you with his ex girlfriend ?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 January 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntDon't beat yourself up CG, I say crap all the time.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2010):

Crap. I'm sorry, but I had to say it. 'I'm one of the nice guys'? Think with your head. He's cheating! He's not nice at all! And don't make the mistake of thinking what so many women think, which is to believe he'll happily leave his girlfriend for you, then never cheat again. Because he will. I think he's a cheating liar, and a user of women. Don't fall for it. He'll use you and hurt you, just like that other friend, and just like his girlfriend.

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