A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this issue with my friend and her boyfriend!My friend's bf and I used to talk - then one day he stopped talking to me...I did not too much of it, thinking that he was in one of his moods...I would also try to make conversations about things that he might be interested in (e.g. cars)...anyway, I was basically shoved off/ ignored...I did not feel the need to approach my friend about it (because I thought that it was just a phase).But then he started doing things to spite me. Maybe it is a fragment of my imagination (as I would see all the negatives with him after). But I did not let such get to me as much! I again stayed silent (because I felt as if I said anything to my friend, I would sound juvenile)!Then one day my friend came up to me and said that he said that I had changed and that I was jealous of their relationship. Utter crap! I made brief mention of the situations that I have been in with him (to my friend) and that I do not think that I am responsible for the situation that we are in. In fact, I was actually the only supporter of their relationship (HOW OR WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS? SURE, THERE WERE THE FEW AWKWARD MOMENTS, but that is normal - plus, I have given them their space - I was not up in their face all of the time). Sometimes I feel as if it wasn't for me, they would have broken up soo long! I made excuses for some of his stupid behaviour.Anyway, the ignoring game still went on and well I joined in on it! I did not go out of my way to make conversation with him. My last straw was pulled. My reaction is horrible (because I have stooped to his level) - but I was fed up of being insulted! But it started to eat me up inside.Now, when my friend is not around, he turns his back when I pass - but then initiates conversation when my friend is present - and because I have been insulted in the past, I do not maintain conversations with him and pretend to be preoccupied (though feeling really bad inside). so I am obviously making myself look like the "bad" one. But it is just that I do not want to play any games...I trusted you once and you let me down. Please note that I tried to make peace many times...and after a loooonnngggg while I got tired. And honestly, I find it ever so hard to try to be his friend again - or even to talk to him. He scrolls my blood (sad to say).... feel terrible, as I am trying to live a Christian life....but want nothing to do with him.But what really rips me up, is that I am not sure of whether my friend is affected by our childish behaviour (between her boyfriend and me). And I do not have to heart to bring it up - because of she really likes him, I do not want to get in between - and it has been going on for soooo long)! But sometimes I feel as if I need closure - because I do not know what he says about me or whether fingers are really being pointed at me for the position that we are in now! (This has been going on for 2 years now). A little too late...I just want advice on how to handle this situation! I do not want to lose my friend - but at the same time, I do not want to live with this agony! I mean, there is no rule book that I have to be friends with the boyfriend - though it would be nice!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 Yeah I agree with the sister, why on earth does this cause you so much stress and what did you say..Agony???!For crying out loud if you don't like him then only hang out with your friend when it's just going to be "us girls". I too think you are way too involved here.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Trust me when I say that I give them their space! But while I have gotten over that aspect, the bigger issue (if it is one) is that it doesn't (or seemingly) seem to bother my friend! Is it that I should bring it up with her or just let go of the situation and hope that the friendship lasts (despite this obstacle) - I find it difficult to think of talking to the guy! I questioned what I did to offend him. But when it was brought up that I was jealous of them - and I stated my position, she herself admitted that he pushed her away! I personally would feel "ahow" if my boyfriend didn't talk to her!
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