A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my husband for 14 years and I have been 100% faithful. He does treat me well, and does everything as far as housework and cooking. Here is my problem. I spoke to my ex boyfriend like 3 weeks ago, and have been almost everyday. Not in person, but on the internet. He is alot of fun, and Always was. I never have fun, that stopped a long time ago. I have been thinking about my ex often and I want to go see him. I am scared! Because I know in my heart that something will happen between us. I guess in simple terms, I am just bored of my husband is maybe the way to put it, I am so confused, But I want to see my ex, and dont think I will be satified till I see him. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I know the feeling, but don't do it. Everything was said below. Your history defines your character. Be as good as you can be.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 I suggest you read some of the literature written on affairs/infidelity...you are displaying classic signs of someone who is at risk of cheating (you know that from what you've written) - and whether it is with your ex now/soon or not I believe it is just a matter of time before you do cheat on your husband if you don;t take action now to prevent that. You have a "character flaw"(experts would use this terminology too) - and you need to take a good hard look at yourself and what is truly motivating you to take increasing risks and think about meeting this guy (ex) - knowing that there is a very high chance you will do the wrong thing. Like previous posters have said - you are equally responsible for the state of your relationship - but if go down the path of "getting a thrill and some fun and attention" with another guy (selfish!!) - then you are not even giving your marriage a chance. I think you have come on here to get some sympathy for your "boring marriage" and maybe hoped others would give you permission for what you are planning...well - you're not gonna get it from me. Relationships are never simple - they take hard work and committment to work well...you've been there for 14 years without messing up - so you obviously have some great qualitites too. Don't go down this path you're describing...it just brings heartache all round and you will regret it on every level I am sure. My advice is that you fess up about your communication with the ex, you end it and assure your husband you have ended it, you communicate your feelings of boredom and unhappiness to your husband and see what the two of you come up with as a solution. You have choices here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): what the hell do you want from a guy? why dont you tell your husband about the x? you afraid you'll have to get in the real world again? your just playing around now, but if you actually meet an ex you'd be full blown cheating; which makes you in the wrong...and trust me.. it sounds exciting now but over time when the ex knows your true nature he wont trust you, neither will your husband: and you be living a lie when you have to explain to new prospects why you are single agin...and you'll always have that over you if you are truthful. do you want to live a liar?
to avoid feeling like crap, seriously, wind it down with the ex, make it stop, or sit down with your husband a separate. either or is usually how it is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): God, seriously - it's actions like these that make me sick. Sure, women try to give men a bad name, but look at you. There you have at home a loving husband who does everything around the house and you are still not satisfied. Has it even crossed your mind to try to add some fun to your current relationship as opposed to flitting off with some ex? It didn't work with your ex last time so why on earth are you building him up in your mind to be some sort of legend? Nobody on this site can tell you what to do - it's your life - but please think twice before breaking your husband's heart. I think that's the least you could do. If he came to you tomorrow and said "look, I'm bored of you, I went to see my ex and something happened", how the hell would you feel after dedicating 14 years to a marriage? Seriously, either add some fun to your marriage or break that off and then see your ex - don't do the dirty behind your husband's back - that is LOW.
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