A
female
age
41-50,
*ary-MB
writes:They had Sex in my presence, I am unable to come from that trauma.....Dear My plight is a v troublesome one. I belong to a traditional indian background, am a virgin bachlor female in mid twenties.I had two best friends, a female-23, and male 26, three of us were closely knotted. The male treated me wid gr8 respect as a Sister, and the female was v gud friend. We spent nice time togather. Then this male shifted to other city and also love started bloossming between the two of them. I was happy about it.I and female have same workplace and we also used to stay togather.A month ago the boy came and insisted for picnic to a tourist station.I was initially reluctant but went b'coz thought they vil feel bad abt it.The TraumaWe went to a place and had to stay in the same room and two beds.I asked them that they may take seprate room for privacy, but they said they r not intended to make love !At arnd midnight i cud hear lot of noise and tremors on other bed- They were indulged in Sex.this i dont know why created disgust- and wen in morning I confronted they laughed over, I saw sufficient supporting proofs in washroom.They repeated the same thing the next day.I thought to let it go but it haunts my mind and gives a feeling of being used as a shield.Moreover, after coming ,the girl's brother came ( he made ph call to me ask if the boy is around wid his sister and I ADMIT I said yes)After his visit the girl and boy stopped talking to me. their anger is v natural. But I have lost two of my gud friends.I tried several times to talk to her but she flatly refused.we work at same place and commen friends also tried to patch up but failed.It gives me lot of pain.Was this all my fault?can there be any hope to rejunivate the relationships.That boy also dont pik my phone. He is in different city.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): You are responsible for your own behaviour only. Other people are responsible for their behaviour only. Don't feel guilty
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 They used you as a shield to hide their being together, they violated and invaded your privacy for their pleasure, and once the jig was up, they blamed you and stopped calling you. You did nothing wrong by telling the truth to her brother, she was wrong to put you in the position where she was expecting you to lie on her behalf. You say that it's natural for them to be angry at you, but they are mad because you weren't complicit in covering up for them. They only brought you along as a ruse, a patsy, to use you, not as a friend.
A real friend wouldn't have done anything like this to you. Forget them and make new friends with other people at work. Sorry for all of your disappointment, as friends they were extremely disappointing! The sex in the room thing - Eeewhhh - I'd be traumatized too. Yuck. You've done nothing wrong and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You actually did everything that you could to be an accommodating friend. They are the ones who are in the wrong here. You deserve better friends.
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 It's not your fault! Anyone would have felt bad if they were in your situation. They could have had a seperate room yet stayed in yours, why? they properly wanted you to hear. YOU should be annoyed at them not the other way round. Their pathetic
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
no its not your fault, They should have respected you were in the room and taken your wishes into account and got a seperate room. You are not in the wrong if they canot see this hunny then they are not as good friends as you see them to be, If you are put in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable then they should have been aware of your feelings its there job to make amends with you, If they understand you as a friend they will do this love, I hope you work this out try not to let it upset you hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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