A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i keep having this dream of my ex-girlfriend with her boyfriend.its getitng more real everytime and i dont know what it is. i was going out with my first love. i had a bestfriend and than we sorta stopped hangingout but still friends. one day i find out that she cheated on me so i hook up wit her friend. than shes ends up hookin up wit my bestfriend. and we break up and they start goin out. while shes was wit him we still hung out and hooked up. they end up breakin up an we got back together and breaking up again. im now with someone else. but i was hooking up wit her recently. but i just had this dream. if anyone is good with this and needs more info please help me. thanks[MOD NOTE: THERE WERE 2 QUESTIONS FROM THIS USER, SO I HAVE INCLUDED THE SECOND ONE BELOW:]why cant i give up on my first love. i was with her for over 3-4 years known her for 5years. we were in love. and now its over. but we still always go back to each other. shes done so many bad things that when i think about them i tell myself that i should move on. and she probably feels the same way. but than in the end i give in bc i miss her. shes very attractive. idk if thats whats holding me. im just so confused. i dont know why i cant let go. its been a long time. and i cant move on. i need help....
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male
reader, Solidus +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Dude I'm going through something like this right now! In fact I just got off the phone with my Ex who is sleeping with someone else now. I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore and for a month she obliged me. Then started calling again so we're now "Speaking" I guess. I just don't know...my ex is pretty appealing to me too. I look at her pictures and I just reminisces about all the times we've had sex. (She was my first everything!) What twists up my stomach is when I think of dudes having sex with her. It used to make my heart hurt and my stomach turn. Not talking to her for a month really helped me clear my head and detach from her emotionally. I don't even get sad the way I used to when she would talk about banging other dudes. I remember once tho when she told me she has a one night stand and it tore me up ALL DAY. I was in a job interview and my heart was breaking...literally shattered as images of some random dude on top of the woman who I loved with all my heart for more than a year ran through my mind on repeat. I think that sometimes you just have to step back and put things into perspective. I'm still learning to...not want her to want me...if that makes any sense? In the back of my mind when we talk there's always this question "Why? Why don't you love me as much as I love you? Why couldn't we work?" Especially since she CALLS me all the time. I've had some of the best moments of my life with her so its hard to let her go completely and even when I think im strong enough to say good bye...I find myself relapsing and answering her calls or staring at her pictures. I try to remedy this by listening to my favorite songs as loud as possible, talking to friends, and basically remembering why it doesn't work with us. Also, I try to remind myself that God has something planned for me. Someone way better than her. Dude and if at all possible...spend time with beautiful women. You don't have to date them or anything just hang out with them. Make sure they're hotter than your ex they'll make you feel better. I don't know if this helps man because getting over your first is fucking hard. I think about mine everyday...right now I'm pondering can we ever be friends without sex or our past inserting itself into the relationship? I Dont know if my words help, but I just want you to know that you are now alone in this, my friend.
A
female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 The dream will stop eventually, but i dont think anyone gets over their first love i no i have not either the harder you try to get rid of the feeling the stronger they seem to get. If you cut her out of your life for awhile an focus on your new girlfriend you will stop thinking about her but those feeling will never go away.
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