A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I want to end my relationship with my partner. We have a baby of 10 months and he is drinking again. Binge drinkng, this is day 7 and he has wee'd the bed twice this week. I have weighed up the pro's and con's and the only pro I have is that I think he is gorgeous look. The pro's outweigh by far.I'm not sure how I do it, I don't even want him to say he will stop drinking, I'm done with it. I'm bored, I want my freedom back. He says he would be devastated if I left him.He is living in my house, and his children stay when he has them. How can I do this? I am 37. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2014): Yes he is an alcoholic, he can go months without a drink and then the cycle begins again. He has had counselling, but I think he actually likes the chaos and I don't think he really has any desire to stop all together. I am a sociable person with lots of friends and a fantastic family. I want the old me back, I feel like he just weighs me down and I can't truly be my happy free self. But even if he promised and did actually stop - I would still not be happy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 April 2014):
 I agree you are too nice. IF it's your house and you want him out, you say "I need you to leave within xxx timeframe" give him enough time to pack and call someone to have a place to stay
who cares if he's mad or where he stays he's no longer your problem and as for what his family thinks... unless they are living in denial they know he's an alcoholic and I'm sure will not think badly of you for protecting yourself and your child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2014): He wets the bed? That's dreadful. So he's an alcoholic. Has he ever tried to get help? You say he's drinking "again"? So he has stopped before and started again, no doubt an endless wash, rinse and repeat cycle of breaking his promise to stop drinking to you right?
I think you have every right to ask him.. no.. tell him to leave. Never mind where he will go, he's making your life a misery and he is a grown man, not some 15 year old boy without a solid head on his shoulders. Tell him it's over and pack his bag. No woman taking care of a baby should have to endure this!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 April 2014):
 OP, you are too nice for your own good. Or, too much of a pushover maybe.
You are worried about him having nowhere to go ?... He's 37, he'll come up with something. You think about solving your problem ( i.e. getting rid of a man you don't love and has nothing to offer you but his good looks ) and let him worry about his ( finding himself somewhere to live ).
You say he has a family, he can always go back to them, couldn't he ? ... You say, they wouldn't take him in, even temporarily ?
Fine : that solves your second problem. If they think bad of you for having dumped their relative... you can think as bad of them or more,for having refused assistence to their own flesh and blood !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2014): Thank you. I am worried, not at the way he will act towards me, he is not a violent man. Worried about him having nowhere to go and his family thinking bad of me.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 April 2014):
 Simple. Tell him to get out. It's your place. If he says no, call the police. If you are concerned with what his response will be, get a male friend to come over and stand guard until it's over. That way, he won't act crazy.
As for the baby. You can take him to court and figure out custody issues later. You'll get custody because he's a drunk. Best of luck to you. He sounds like a total loser. Good for you for getting rid of him. You and your child don't need to deal with that.
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