A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a relationship of 5 moths and it's been going good if i would allow it too, and accept her love and accept/believe the things she says. Short background information: my best friend and i went out one night, met up with some girls we already knew and had quite some history with and they had 2 lovely girlfriends, my best friend took the brunette and i took the blond one ( sounds kinda disrespectful but i have good intentions) after 2 weeks my best friend made his brunette his girlfriend, i took a little longer but eventually we'd hit it off and started dating, before i made her my girlfriend i kissed an other girls at this party, she found out and was in shock, i was too it was totally unnecessary and stupid of me. i went through a lot of pain(and i mean a LOT), she saw i was sincerely hurt and took me ''back''. after that she told me she had been going out with her friends and some guy came up to her and wanted to kiss her but she said: i can't do this i'm having a bit of a struggle at the moment with this guy ( me ) and i just can't get it over my heart to do that to him. I told her she was the most honest and respectful girl i ever met. The problem is guys, she give's me so much to not worry about. I found out that she (17) only kissed 1 guy and it was awful, she does not have good memories about it. We kind of went on with that topic and i told her how many girls i kissed, she was curious. Then i asked who was your second kisser then ? she told me it was me... Which made me feel kind of special, I also am her first boyfriend. We recently have had some very deep conversations about her problems which in the beginning would cause some tension because she was afraid of telling it, basically that she is very insecure, she has had some trouble with her emotions, she even told me things that she wouldn't tell her girlfriends. The thing is i am still very doubtful about all these things i often wonder that it's al too good to be true, i become very strange/clingy in my behavior sometimes, even to the point that i just dont believe what she say,s and even when something is going on like a guy sending her flirty messages on facebook she tells me the whole story behind it and basically explains it and that she would not never flirt back in an inappropriate way. In my mind i say to myself oke i have to find out if there is more going on to be normal again. still it irritates me and i have a weird feelings that i might lose her.Also a little fact is that my best friend and i, ''know'' a thing or two about attraction and stuff... so it sometimes backfire's in my mind like: if i do this it will not be attractive, like these stupid things. I wish i could accept her love, and believe all the things she says, and not constantly reassuring things are fine with us. She is also very very bad at lying and i never have found out that she lied to me, she once lied to me because she would't want me to feel bad. it's hard, i am her first boyfriend and i want to be the best boyfriend ever for her, but sometimes these behaviors achieve the exact opposite. How can i change this ?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 It does sound too good to be true but from what you are saying it's very nice for you. She must really love you to be like this. If you are struggling with it then the problem isn't her, it's you. You must believe in yourself. If you want to be the best boyfriend in the world to her then carry on. Enjoy what you have and don't search for problems. There are actually couples out there, who can be absolutely perfect for each other. They aren't all two timers, cheaters, liars etc so I wish you well with your perfect relationship. Just don't do anything to spoil it. Good Luck!
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