A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I see a lot of women write in worried about their small breasts but I have the opposite problem. I have large breasts and every man who I have been with including my long term marriage has preferred smaller breasts and not been at all interested in my breastsIn fact on a recent date one guy actually said ' just don't get those things out' He called me several times wanting more dates which I declined but this seems to be a pattern and honestly my self esteem is getting so low about this My husband was always saying how he lived slim women with small busts anf other men I've date have seemed very disinterested , almost like they try to ignore them I'm convinced men absolutely hate larger breasts and am always surprised when smaller breasted women worry as I think they are so lovely and beautiful I feel like an old cow who will never find a man who actually finds a man who thinks that part of me is attractive , only POSSIBLY one who will accept me if I'm lucky How can I overcome these feelings. I r tried being positive but it's so depressing
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female
reader, Busted  +, writes (8 May 2019):
You can have my husband. He had an affair with a big breasted woman. Said he “liked the size and shape of her breasts”. Not a day goes by without me feeling like a used car trade in.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 February 2015):
 "I feel like an old cow" Ever seen a cow with small utters.:) Maybe a baby cow. :)Lots of men will avoid your breast...myself included...why?? Not because I do not like big breast, but because of the stereotype around big breast. Like "my eye are up here", "All men just stare at my breast", and so on. Men do get alot of flack for staring at women's chest, and we can't help it.If a man had an erection bulging in the front of his pants...women would stare. Alot of men have tried so hard to avoid these stereotypes, that they have gone full circle. Figuring smaller breast are less noticeable, and harder for them to stare at. In the end my dear, your breast has nothing to do with getting a man or keeping one. Hate to say it, but most relationships relies on sex...and that bonding (or lack of it) is what makes or breaks most relationships...not breast size.Also like most people...men want what they don't have. Guy's wife has big breast, curious about small breast. She has small breast, curious about big. Wife is slim, curious about not so slim...and so on.Your breast are sexual weapons to men...and if you are well armed as you say... hehe :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): What an ass! And presumptios ass also. He actually thought that sex is already in a picture?? Really stupid.,
I have large breasts like yourself, and I became popular at the age of 12 because of that. I am in my 40s now, and I am telling you if it was not for them, I would probably not get that much attention even close.
I am really surprised that you meet SO MANY men who prefer small boobs. That's why plastic surgeries for enhancement of breasts are so popular.
Anyway, your breasts are not the issue here but the guys you meet, including your husband. If they prefer small breasts and it's so crucial to them that they prefer not even look at yours, then they sould date other women not you. Why are they still dating you if this is a turn off for them??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): This may seem a bit 'wacko' and the first time I heard it I thought it was nuts. But then I thought through every man I've had a relationship with and who my friends and my daughter were seeing, and something started to click.
Psychoanalysts (the most famous being Melanie Klein) believe that the way a man responds to a woman's breasts is an indication of how he feels about his mother. He will "project" his (often very deep rooted so that he himself isn't aware he has them) feelings onto a woman's breasts.
So - a man with underlying anger or mistrust for his mother will react badly to large breasts. Conversely, he will be drawn to women with smaller breasts, because, at a deep rooted level that he's not aware of, she doesn't threaten him by reminding him of his mother (and the maternal breast).
On the other hand, a man who is weak inside and wants to be mothered (again, he may not be consciously aware of this) will gravitate towards a woman with large breasts - he may have had a mother who was loving but in her way quite dominant and 'leading' and the larger breasts remind him of his bond with his mother and he happily trusts the woman involved. The downside of this is that the woman can, without realising, end up mothering the man because this is the role that he, without knowing, keeps steering her into.
Basically, if a man has unresolved issues with his mum, this will dictate how he responds not just to your breasts, but to you as a person. It can get quite complicated.
To give an example: I had tiny breasts and married my husband at 18 (he was 10 years older than me). What I didn't know then was that his mother was an incredibly domineering woman, with large breasts. He absolutely hated large breasts. Now, you'd think from this that he would be 'in charge' and leading the way in the relationship. And yes, he was absolutely mega controlling - underneath everything. At the same time, he was useless and kept expecting me to 'be the man' ie. lead everything, because this is what his mum had done. Because he had unresolved issues with her, he kept trying to control me on the one hand (so that I didn't become like her) but also could not lead anything himself because she'd never let him (so he instinctively kept leaving it to me to lead everything because that's what he was used to).
We divorced and he married another woman with even smaller breasts than me. About a year later she got in touch with me and her story was almost exactly the same as mine. My ex husband was never able to stand on his own two feet and ended up living back with his mother - whom he detests.
Now, on the other hand, my daughter from that marriage is now in her late twenties and she inherited the grandmothers boobs. She has absolutely enormous boobs compared with my almost non existent ones. When my psychologist friend fist told me about this theory, I became worried that my daughter, having big boobs, might end up with a man who would expect her to mother him, and this might mean she herself would never feel protected. Lo and behold, she kept attracting 'boy' type men, all very messed up even though she herself is really bright, stable and absolutely lovely as a person. Finally she has been with her very stable boyfriend for four years now BUT he has a very loving AND in her way dominant mother. He and his mother are very close, and he is a hard working guy. But he has a problem in seeing 'the bigger picture' and in leading things - his mother has always provided for him and this means he never has to think much about financial stuff, or to worry very much about anything. He's a nice guy, but absolutely without doubt my daughter mothers him. And in his own way, he does control everything, because he will always come up with reasons why they CAN'T do things, rather than why they can or why they should give it a go. He's stable, and he loves my daughter, but he's a Mummy's boy and my daughter is starting to feel the strain of it because he's not invested in making tangible plans for their future and never was.
So, I know this might seems nuts to you, but if you meet these guys who are reacting badly to your breasts, maybe ask a couple of questions to find out how they feel about their Mum! "Do you still have both your parents?" "What do they do for a living?" "What does your Mum do?" that kind of thing. Time and again I've seen guys who have partners with small breasts make passing comments that indicate they've got issues with their Mum. And time and again I've seen what seem like the nicer, more stable guys, go for large breasted women because underneath they're expected her to mother them.
As soon as I found out about this theory I though back to all the boyfriends I'd had (not many actually) AND I thought about all the guys I knew who'd been attracted to me and they ALL had issues with their mothers. It might seem like the guys who actually want women with bigger breasts will be more accepting of a woman, because they've often had better relationships with their Mum. BUT the downside is that they can expect you to 'play mum'. May be something to bear in mind!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): You know what I am a large breasted woman and I love it tell him you prefer a mandingo with and extra inch and see how he likes that.You are beautiful??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 February 2015):
 I'm with Auntie Bim All the way.
I have to ask you this, DO you tell a guy.. Hey, let's get a ruler before sex because ANYTHING under 8 inches is not welcome? My bet is no, you don't.. So a GUY tell you that you NATURAL boobs are unattractive? IS A TOTAL moron! And I am glad you declined further dates with him. MY guess is he was trying to pull a "tear her down, so she will be grateful to date my sorry ass routine" YES! there are ACTUALLY guys who do that. I know.. It's UNBELIEVABLE, but true none the less.
You husband? WAS (still is I bet) an idiot too. Now it MAY have been it wasn't the SIZE of your breast but the fact that he wasn't a boob guy. (still an idiot, because I an SURE he knew you had a fair size bosom before marrying you, and that IF big boob were a turn off he shouldn't have married you.) It could also be he didn't like a big chested woman because you attract attention, guy he may not have felt able to "compete" with.. IDIOT..
Honey, ENJOY your boobs. Get good bras that make you look like you OWN those puppies! Be proud of them, because they are PART of you, and YOU should be proud of you.
If some guy EVER talks smack again about your "organic milk-bags" tell him to go kick rocks.
Cheer up, life is too short for idiots!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 February 2015):
You know what, breasts are great, but often a guy wants what he doesn't have. I had a gf with regular sized boobs. I wished they were bigger. We broke up and I dated a girl with bigger ones and I wished they were smaller. We broke up and I dated a girl with small ones and I wished they were average. My wife's are average but on the small side and I sometimes wish they were bigger but I decided I love them either way.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (8 February 2015):
 I know where you are coming from.I am a small gal but unfortunately my breasts are not. They really are too large for my frame but I've learned over the years to deal with. I have always been rather envious of women with small breasts who can wear anything and can even go braless. Funny thing is...these women want larger breasts..and go to great lengths to get them! No woman seems happy with what she has it seems.
I differ with you on one aspect though..I have NEVER EVER dated a man who ever commented negatively on my breasts. They were always quite complimentary, sometimes embarrassingly so! What kind of men are you seeing???? I find this really curious. Men like breasts of any shape and size from my experience so I can't for the life of me figure out what kind of men you have been running into!
The jerk who told you "don't get those things out"...I would have ended the date IMMEDIATELY...no way would I let a man insult me in that manner. How rude and insensitive. I am afraid I might have come back with "And please don't get your THING out either..."...CREEP! I don't blame you for never dating him again. Sounds like a right ahole to be honest.
Sweetheart...learn to love yourself JUST AS YOU ARE ok? There is nothing wrong with you honey. You're encountering jerk and creeps. A good guy is gonna love YOU..not the size of your chest. I mean that. You have got to love yourself though first and don't concern yourself with what you don't have, or think you have too much of. Unless you would chose to have surgery for reduction? I would never do that myself but I know others that have. Can you not accept yourself for who you are??
Trust me on this..many many men love larger chested women...you wouldn't believe how many girls/ladies come on here wishing they were bigger...remember...beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...you just haven't run across the right beholder...he's out there ok? LOVE YOURSELF!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (8 February 2015):
 I have a different tale to tell, when I was in the dating scene men LOVED my big boobs ......... and I have only met a few in my lifetime who actually expressed a preference for smaller breasts.
It seems you are back in the dating scene, so any blokes you meet who are rude enough to say "just don't get those things out" can be stamped with a big "R" for reject and passed over.
Truth be told your husband was insensitive, and most genuine men wouldn't care if your boobs are ginormous, small or somewhere in between, you just haven't met the right one yet.
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