A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok i know this is going to sound stupid but over the last half a year or so i have started to get depressed because i am not in a relationship. All of my friends have been in relationships and I have never had one and feel stupid and immature when they are talking about what they have done with guys. One friend has been in a relationship for almost 3 years and i am pretty sure she has had sex with the guy. And my other best friend constantley has guys falling over themselves to go out with her and yet she still isnt confident about herself. I am often told that i am pretty and( i am not trying to sound boastful) i am a UK 4-6 and five foot six so i am not fat or really short. A year ago i asked a guy out but he ignored me and then i lost my confidence completely around guys. I have gone through periods of anorexia because of someone making a comment that i had 'big hips' my self esteem is gone completely. My friends all smile knowingly at me when i am with them talking about how i feel and say 'my time will come' or to 'play in the field' but how am i supposed to do that if no one is intersted in me? To me all this stuff sounds really patronising. I act quite confidently around my guy friends i am not a shrinking violet by nature. What is it about me putting boys off?
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anorexic, best friend, confidence, depressed, immature, period, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, cookeez482  +, writes (9 August 2009):
I know how you feel. I've been in relationships before, but never for very long. I haven't been with anyone for about 3 years since then and it's really catching up to me. I've been in love with my best friend, who happens to be with someone who I've come to be best friends with as well. All I want is to hold her tight and freely say "I love you.":/ May sound corny and wierd for a guy to say, but whatever. You'll find the right person eventually. You just need to look out for him. I missed my chance, but you don't see me giving up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): i think that you should stop think there is somthing wrong with you, maybe you are looking in all the wrong place try going out with diffenet people and go different place but just remember 1 thing alway be your self othewise if your some thing your not the person you think that like you wont because he has fallen in love with some one your not. there is some one out there for every 1 so put a smile on your face and go for it .
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Heya,I know how you feel. It's jealousy, but not bad jealousy its just wanting to be wanted. it's very easy to get yourself down about things you cant control. you have to makesure you dont sound to up for it if you ask out a boy. one day, you're going to be great, because you have had little distraction from work, but I can see, now that this has become noticable. Idea 1)Join clubs, seriously, it helps, swimming, sports, art,choirs, orchestras, science (though that could just be a little bit geeky) whatever, boys who bother joing and staying at clubs are the ones to look out for, and it's a great way to make friends outside your form. having mates who are 15+ does wonders for your street cred. unles of course they aren't the sort of 16 year olds you should know. I wish you best of luck, and for the record, curvey hips are great in my opinion, and if youre too skinny, you don't get any boobs, and pardon me for saying so, but, who doesn't want a chest?Jellyxxxx
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Self confidence is a really attractive thing to guys, no guy wants a girl who's going to moan about how fat they are, or how ugly they are (not saying this is you, just for example). Work on your own confidence, get happy in yourself, by yourself. If you're unhappy deep down, a guy won't fix that anyway. Once you're truly smiling I bet you'll be beating the guys off with a stick.
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A
male
reader, Crafter  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Does it matter? How old are you? 14, 15?
Take it easy, girl.
What? You wanna get pumped by a guy tonight? 'Cause at this age I can promise you that's all they're thinking about. I'm not saying that sex is a bad thing, but it can be way better if you actually have something for each other. Something more than lust that is.
Instead of thinking about boys, try to have fun, because want it you not, you're gonna get swept off your feet anyway.
It's all about appearing like a person that's relaxed and fun to be around. If you worry about whether a guy's gonna like you or not, you'll end up being frustrated all the time. Just smile and ... smile.
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