A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi. im 13 years old but ive been told by my mum that im going to have an arranged marriage when i want to marry.my parents arent really religious or anything but they both had an arranged marriage.i dont mind having one its just i really want to have a chance to date, like friends of mine. ive been asked a couple of times before and on some occasions i realy didnt want to say no.Anyway, theres this boy who ive known from school since we were 3 and he asked me out. my parents dont know him but hes my friend. hes really sweet, shy and just generally sincere compared to the other boys who have asked me out. i really want to go out with him, but my parents strictly said no dating.even if i cant date now, i would really like the chance later onand my mum is stubborn
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male
reader, Aulin  +, writes (27 October 2009):
I think you should wait a few years and understand the situation and then take decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): this is the original poster
but im really scared about how theyll react. what if my whole family finds out? my life will be hell
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Are you muslim?
If you're not muslim, or any other eastern religion, then this is a removal of your human rights. It's an imprisonable offence.
You need to stand up to them. They may not like it, but you have the right to date and to marry who you want. It's not up to them to decide, you should marry someone that you love, not have to learn to love the person you marry.
Good luck, keep us updated x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): You are too young for an arranged marriage or any marriage for that matter, i was 14 when i had an arranged marriage, i agreed to marry because i new it was what my parents wanted and i new that would make them happy, so i agreed to it without thinking about it properly as i was very young i shouldnt of been put in a position like that as i wasnt matture enough to decide if it was the right thing. Anyway i was engaged at 14 and it was the worst decision of my life at the time, i hated him i hated the fact that my childhood had been taken away from me i hated the fact that i was 14 and i had to come home and find my fiance waiting there for me while my friends were going out enjoying themselves BEING YOUNG and not tied down at that age, i cried myself to sleep every night i even contemplated suicide i just never had the guts to go ahead without because i new it would destroy my parents but then at the same time i thought, my parents are destroying me. They new i didnt want to be engaged they new i hated him they new we didnt get on and still they just sat back and watched me go through hell!!! i complained to my mum hundred of times about him how i hated the fact that he touched me how i hated the fact that i had to pretend to like him how i hated the fact that i had to kiss him because i was scared he would leave me and my parents would hate me and not talk to me and my mum still didnt do anything, i waited for her to say ok we will brake it off but those words never came out, for 3 years i went through this it killed me inside none of my friends new about it so i had nobody to talk to, as soon as i would try talking to my sister about it she wouldnt want to hear it so i went through it on my own, this guy was 11 yrs older than me! but in order to make my parents happy i stayed with him i accepted the fact that this is the life god had planned for me i accepted the fact that it was "alright" to be misreble anyways i stayed with him and nearly 5 years later im still with him because now i love him because im older and mature and i know that he loves me and i know what the important things are in life now, so my advice to you is wait till your older 19-20 so you are able to judge for yourself what the right decision is! good luck honey and dont do anything you dont want too, u may make your parents unhappy for a while by saying no but they will get over it, not letting anyone push into things you dont want to do and being stubborn will get you everywhere! x
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Just go on a few dates, be honest with your parents, tell them you want to experience a bit of fun before they lock you under ball and chain.
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