A
female
age
30-35,
*raphicChiky
writes:Okay so this is gone and past and i am completely over it but i was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years.. i moved in with him and gave everything to this guy and was honest and true to him and he had another girl for 1 year and a half of it and verbally abused me and lied to me about everythign. He broke my heart and after i finally had enough and left him thinking i deserve better i was more hurt then i ever imagined. It was hard but its been about 8 or 9 months and now i am dating someone new..nothing serious but we are together. He is amazing nothing like my ex.. great personality, trusting, not suffocating, lets me live my own life, supportive. Pretty well the whole package meets the eye.. and i do like him. But because i was hurt so bad before for so long ive developed a strong back bone and refuse to be hurt again. Point of the question is ive found out this new boy still uses his dating site account. (has pictures on it taken during our relationship) and hes changed information to say that he wants to see girls accounts with photos only and obviously ..it says he is single.He's a really great person but i dont want to get hurt again.Should i leave before my 2 1/2 years gets repeated? I dont know if i should say anything because im afraid of looking insecure or him knowing that ive checked up on that a couple times.Thanks everyone !
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Wow I'm surprised at the responses to your previous update. You are a couple and he has his dating profile up! It doesn't matter if it has only been 3 months, which is actually pretty long btw it isn't just a couple weeks, you have discussed being an official couple and not dating anyone else! That's a pretty bad way to start a relationship... Saying he is single and trying to date other people. If he were happy with your relationship then he wouldn't still be pretending to be single and trying to pick up someone else. That IS the only point of being on a dating site, because you are still searching for someone else. Leave him. He obviously isn't very serious or committed and is still searching for something better.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 August 2012):
 if it's been nearly 3 months then you can ask him about it...
if he's not ready to take it down then there is not a lot you can do.
he may not feel as strongly as you do or as you want him to.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Three months in and a 100% relationship means that you are well within your rights to ask him to take down his profile. It's not an unreasonable request. I gave my ex this choice at the start and he was a bit reluctant but I said that it was the only way I was going to be able to take the relationship seriously. The choices were for him to date me and only me, or to keep his profile and be single again.The profile went.
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A
female
reader, GraphicChiky +, writes (29 August 2012):
GraphicChiky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone :) and yes we are 100% official boyfriend and girl friend have been since the very begining of June. It's been almost 3 months. I have not brought this up to him yet.
What do you guys think?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): just say to him that if he wants to get anymore serious he has to take down his dating profile its not stalkerish its just that you dont want to be hurt like you have done befor its perfectly natural
hope i helped
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (29 August 2012):
 I agree with Stayc. He may be dating you and he may be dating other girls. That is what "dating" is. It is meeting and going out with various people to find out who is the best match for you.
It does depend on how long you've been together and whether you've talked about being exclusive and a "couple". You may be more serious about the relationship than he is, so I would try to get a feel for what he wants. Does he want a long-term exclusive relationship, or is he currently dating just for fun?
I would ask questions and see what he says. Preferably in person and not over Facebook or some other form of online communication.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (28 August 2012):
I agree, it totally depends on how long you've been seeing this new guy and whether or not you've both agreed that it's going somewhere.
You're absolutely right to be asking this question. Just difficult to answer it not knowing these two things.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (28 August 2012):
It depends on how long you have been dating and if you have had the discussion of being an official couple and now boyfriend/girlfriend. You may be going on dates and find yourself to be official but he isnt yet. Now if you have discussed it and it is definitely that you are an official couple but he is still online trying to date others then that is cheating and it IS really bad. So if you haven't yet talked about it with him then do so now and go from there. If you have already talked and decided you are together then he is cheating and leave him because you will get hurt again.
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A
female
reader, GraphicChiky +, writes (28 August 2012):
GraphicChiky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand just to add i know this isnt the worst that could happen and doesn't actually prove anything hes cheating.. i would just hate to develop stronger feelings for this guy and find out he was just as unfaithful as my ex all along..
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