| A
male
age
41-50,
*1flames
writes: HiI met a girl though the internet 7 months ago. She lives with her boyfriend who she has been with for 9 years, 6 of them living together. I new this from the start but just thught it would be a sexual relationship.We struck up a real good connection and have amazing sex and have been seeing each other ever since and spend alot of time together doing " couple " things.She is still living with this guy but says he is always working away and only sees him once a week. She is always telling me how much she loves me and misses me but this falls on deaf ears as I cant belive her as she is still there.When I bring up the guy and why she is still there, she clams up and tries to avoid the subject. She tells me that she owns the house, so when I ask her why she is still there if she loves me. She says she has money tied up in his company and it's not as easy as just getting up and going. I can't belive this and when i say i dont belive her she says he has paid her rent. ( For 6 years! ) He must own part of the house.I am slowley getting bored, when we first started seeing each other she was constantly calling and txing me to the point I had to tell her to chill out and back of abit! Recently she had started doing it again and recently she gave me a whole film of pics of her that were taken on holiday and parties. I find this really strange or am I just looking at it the wrong way.This girl oviously isn't to be trusted and she slept with me on the first night and has a huge sex drive. I do too but she really doeas want to be touched and played with all the time. I know I could neaver have a proper relationship with her and I'm not in love with her.Please help me work this out and give me some advise! As it will just carry on like this and I feel like I have a partner when in reality I am single.Thanks
View related questions:
money, on holiday, sex drive, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): You'd better watch out because once her boyfriend shows up in the picture, he'll lay a hand on you and you may not like it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): If u want sex , take the sex, you can still look elsewhere also. Use it as she is.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hey hey...It's a bloody good start, you have scared her enough to make her realize you are not going to put up with her messing you around, fingers crossed she leaves him for good now.Well done you for sticking up for yourself.All the best, let us know what happens.Take care.xx.
...............................
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 heyyyyyy that is great newssss wish you the best luck i think this is going great , wish you godd luck:D
byeXXX
...............................
A
male
reader, 21flames +, writes (29 October 2007):
21flames is verified as being by the original poster of the question I gave her a choice the other day. Leave him or there would be no us. She has packed some stuff and is staying at her friends. Just goig to give it a few weeks and see what happens. What do you think?
...............................
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Why have I come to the conclusion that you are her boy-toy? She hasn't made any overtures to you that she's going to dump her boyfriend of 9 years has she? She'll keep you on the string, and keep her boyfriend in the dark. I doubt seriously if he knows about you.
I have seen your situation a few times in my life. As Flower Girl says, your girlfriend is having her cake and eating it too. You are the cake on the side, so to speak, also known as the "boy-toy".
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (24 October 2007):
Cake and eat it springs to mind, she has you for the relationship she wants and the sex but she is being selfish, she does not want to give up the other guy because he is paying her rent, so she has money tied up in the business, big deal that can be sorted this happens all the time and with people who are married and there is so much more to it.
It sounds like she tells you what she thinks you want to hear and jst pleases herself, you have said you feel you are not in love with her, if you want her and you think you can fall in love with her then tell her you want her to leave him or you are finished and that is the only way you will really find out just how much she has invested in you emotionally.
Take care.xx.
...............................
A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (24 October 2007):
yea u love her but she is playing with u!! u can't keep it going on cz it will end up very badly if u end up very attached i advise u to stay as far as u can for ur own gd................... gd luckXXX
...............................
A
male
reader, 21flames +, writes (24 October 2007):
21flames is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for replying
Ponungalundb: I do enjoy the other aspects of are relationship and enjoy spending time with her. You say I will always be her toy boy, how have you come to this conclusion?
Lilgirly: I do love her but don't feel I'm in love with her like I was with my x, it dosent feel as strong. I don't know what will happen next. We have talked about living together and I have told her to do something to make me belive she wants too, so far she hasn't.
Can you please give me your views on things I told you?
Also one day she rang me in tears and she came round, she told me she had told the guy she wasn't happy and wanted to leave. I asked what he had said and she said he told her she needed to sort her head out and decide. I asked if he questioned her about another guy and she said he didn't, which I find hard to belive.
Since then I have asked her what he has said to her about it since then and she says "Nothing"!
Please help me understand what game she is playing!
Thanks
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): This is a stupid relationship I am sorry to say.
Originally you used each other. Now your a bit bored and don't beleive a word she say's, and I don't blame you, she is playing you. Get out and find someone who is available.
She just wants you to want her, while she takes what she can get from - whoever! You have said she is not to be trusted and not serious relationship potential, so get out and ignore her. She will soon move on to the next internet guy who pays attention.
Good luck with your next relationship and make sure this time it is with someone you care about and not for just sex. That's where you went wrong!!
...............................
A
male
reader, 21flames +, writes (24 October 2007):
21flames is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thanks for replying.
Ponungalundb: I do enjoy the other aspects of are relationship, you say I will always be her toy boy, why do you think this, can you elaberate on certain things I have told you? Thanks
Lilgirly: I do love her just not inlove, dosent feel as strong as my x. I'm not sure what will happen next, we have talked about living together but she has done nothing to prove she is going to do anything about her situation. Thanks
From what I have told you, what do you think her intentions are? Will she just ditch me when she is bored!
...............................
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (24 October 2007):
I think it's time you moved on. You seem to be hanging around for the sex and that's all. You obviously want more out of a relationship, so why stay? You'll always be her boy-toy, so either get used to it, or go elsewhere.
...............................
A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (24 October 2007):
hey,
she lives with her ex!!!!
my advice is get out of there beforeu fall in love with her!what do u want from her if u don't love her?what do u think will happen next??
staying with her will make it hard for u so leave her and start looking for a girl who u can trust and who u can love..
gd luck
...............................
|
