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I'm dating a girl that is a tom boy!!

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dating a girl that is a tom boy. We have so much in common we seem like twins and soul mates. Everything is perfect but i just cant stay sexually attracted to her. She never wants to put on make-up or fix her hair or even dress like a girl.

I tried talking to her about it but she just gets mad and says she doesn't want to be a whinny or prissy girl. Which i try to explain, you can be yourself and still try to look pretty. Also now she is pregnant as of 2 months and so she's gaining weight. So this just adds to it.

I know this may sound selfish but i find myself thinking and even dream about having sex with my ex g/f, and i hate that i have these thought of cheating. What do i do?

View related questions: my ex, soul mates, soulmate

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A male reader, jolt United States +, writes (4 August 2008):

Tom boys are the best thing ever!! And the beauty of pregnancy is unmatched! If you can't see that then she deserves better!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

Do you actually love her? Surely if you love her then nothing really matters right? Say you took her out to get something done say hands done or hair done something like that then she may not feel very comfortable with that, but she might. Suggest something to her, but you don't want her being something she's not, and of course you don't want her feeling out of place or awkward.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (31 March 2008):

Danielepew agony auntYes, thebethany, the fact that she's two months pregnant doesn't mean the child isn't his. But I think the poster would mention that the baby is his if that were the case. I'm willing to admit that maybe he forgot. But I wouldn't forget to mention that fact.

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A female reader, thebethany Australia +, writes (31 March 2008):

whoever said it was another mans baby? so she's 2 months pregnant, doesnt mean its not his.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (31 March 2008):

Danielepew agony auntYou need to stop and think about this relationship.

You're dating someone you don't feel any sexual attraction for. She is going to have another man's baby. It would seem like you will still be with her when the baby is born. And she's two months pregnant, which means that her relationship with the baby's father can't possibly have ended more than two months ago. I think you don't really know what you're getting into.

Have you discussed your relationship? How do you explain that you're not just her friend, but her boyfriend, if you don't feel sexual attraction for her? Let's see: she's two months pregnant. You can't possibly have dated her more than two months, and you already don't feel any sexual attraction? Wow.

Has her relationship with the baby's father really ended? If so, what sort of agreements have they reached? Have you talked with your girlfriend about the baby? Most importantly, does she know what she wants to do? What role do you play in that?

Just for the sake of clarity, this is NOT to say that you should not date that girl, father her child, et cetera; this is to say that you two don't seem to have laid the cards on the table.

If she's your soulmate, why should it be important how she dresses, or whether she puts make up on?

Man, you two most certainly and badly need to do a lot of talking and a lot of thinking.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

WHATEVER YOU DO , DON'T CHEAT!!! tell her you love her but you wish she would fix her self up a little . Say it sweetly and don't demand anything because that will get you no where fast. Tell her that you love her personality and would never change that about her.... but you find yourself not being sexually attracted to her because she doesn't look very girly.... Tell her your not trying to change her but it's somthing that you wud really appericate if she tried ... even just little changes... Please don't cheat !!! think about her .... think about what if the situation was swicthed and she was thinking about cheating and thinking about her ex ....I don't think that you would like that very much and if nothing else think of the baby ! That should make you find her even more beautiful that shouldn't make her any less attractive to you . She has a beautiful baby inside her that your gonna help take care of . Think of that baby when you have thoughts of cheating . CHEATING RIPS FAMILYS APART !!! DON'T do it . I urge you to be faithful no matter if she changes for you or not....

I hope this helped you in some way ..... GOOD LUCK

I hope everything works out for you

oh and P.S

don't pressure her to do anything that she doesn't want to do. ok .

*~VG~*

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