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He's mad at me for checking his e-mails, but he's the one in the wrong!

Tagged as: Long distance, Online dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2008)
A female United States, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I just got mad at him because he signed up for a dating site, looking for girls where he is at. I confronted him and he said that he was just curious and wanted to find out the price of it. Then, he turned the fight around making me feel guilty for checking his e-mail.

Nevertheless, I hung up on him. The next morning I called him several times and he didn't answer his phone, then he texted me saying that he was really mad at me..(I guess because I checked his e-mail)

Then I texted him back saying that I was the one mad at him...Anyways.. it seems that we were both mad at each other, so I didn't called him, but he didn't call me either!

Three days passed and not talking to eachother at all, I then decided to called but he was sleepy. Now I am confused!! I don't even know what to say.. or whose fault is it, and I lost track. I miss him and I couldn't resist, and I made the first call...but I don't know how to confront the situation. I feel like I got to loose because I called him, and that makes me feel guilty.

View related questions: long distance, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

Why are you in the long distance relationship? Are you going to meet up in the future and make a life together? If not then i would move on. You are both in the wrong, but he shouldnt of signed up for dating stuff if he is with you. We all shouldnt checked our partners emails but we do it and so what, if they were being so bloody sly we wouldnt do it, so dont feel guilty, i have done this. It is a two way street. I wouldnt put up with this, decide just what you want, and if this isnt the answer then move on. Life is too short to be wasting it on twits like him.

take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

It sounds to me the problem is the long distance relationship. Is there some future goal in mind for the two of you to be together? Are you apart because of school or career goals? Or are you living apart because of lack of commitment or readiness in your relationship for one of you to move to where the other one is? Do you have marriage plans? What is it that you see in a long distance relationship? Is there talk of when you will be together in the future?

Your boyfriend is on a dating site to see how much it costs? Honey, he is looking to meet other women locally, this long distance thing is just a back up until he finds himself a steady squeeze right there at home....you checking his emails is your instinct that he is on his way out of this long distance thing you have going.....and perhaps you need to be thinking along the same lines, of leaving this relationship behind. Sometimes we are just afraid to let someone go when it is not really clear what we do have with them and what we do want out of the relationship....love involves action. His getting mad at you over reading his emails is justified somewhat, but so are your feelings of suspicion at his dating activities on the net. ..You guys need to talk about dating other people while you are apart or ending the relationship as it doesn't seem he is going to be completely loyal to you.

That is my take on it anyway.

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A female reader, thebethany Australia +, writes (31 March 2008):

well you shouldnt have checked the emails and he shoudnt have signed up for a dating site.

ur both in the wrong

but there is a root to this problem or neither of u would have done wat u did?

think on it, work out what it is and solve the root problem not the little aftermaths

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

Don't feel guilty for anything .... yes it's kinda wrong for looking at his e-mails but you had good reason and it wouldn't even be a big deal if he wasn't doing somthing wrong . He needs to apologize first and if he doesn't then move on ! there are a lot more fish in the sea hunny !!!

Don't feel bad .

I hope this helped :)

Message me anytime!!

*~VG~*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

This is my answer to checking his e-mails,

Chances are he is looking for someone on the side where he is located.

He will deny it, because it happened to me.

Your best bet, is break it off now, before it does get out of hand.

He is not going to be honest with you if you ask him.

He is feeling guilty already, because he got caught.

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A female reader, lah mouw United States +, writes (31 March 2008):

lah mouw agony auntWell honestly, he has every right to be mad at you for checking HIS email(keyword 'his'), although you may be his girlfriend what's in his email is none of your business unless he makes it your business by telling you. If you so to day 'caught' him looking at a dating site, just further confront him about it and try to see where he's coming from and what he wants, this may be hard for him; hence long distance relationship. He texted you and said he was very upset with you. The best thing you can do it just let things run its course, give him some space, and when he's ready he'll come and talk to you. Just let him know you're there and you're sorry, and that you DO feel guilty like you said you did. And when he is ready to come talk, he will.

best of luck.

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