A
female
age
30-35,
*fluoroblackx
writes:Hey everyone, I'll give you a basic run down of my situation, I'm 18 and the guy im going out with is about 30 or so. I know some people would find an issue there, but that's not the problem. We've been seeing each other for about 6 months now but things got serious after about a month or so, I was scared about getting into a serious relationship from previous experiences and I did tell him about it. In the end I decided it was worth it because he was so sweet, understanding and affectionate.But now for about 2 months he's been pushing me away when I try to make physical contact with him and hardly ever wants to have sex and I instigate it nearly 100% of the time.He says he loves me, but then says he wants to disappear for a few days (he did used to do this before we went out to clear his mind) and says he can't do that now because he's in a relationship.I know he's not cheating on me and I do believe that he loves me, but the way he is acting is making me feel so confused and unloved despite what he feels.What should I do?
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male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (27 July 2012):
OK, this guy is acting possessive and inconsequential. You probably should stop dating him. Not because of the age difference. Age difference is *not* a problem in itself, it's the *possible* consequences that do.
There's something weird going on with this guy and that should make you consider carefully if you really want to continue with him.
A
female
reader, xfluoroblackx +, writes (27 July 2012):
xfluoroblackx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe aren't seeing each other every day, and I Know he is 30, I just didn't want to be too specific but doesnt matter now I guess. But thankyou for your advice. This weekend he said he wanted to be on his own, so I made other plans, when I told him he got mad at me and said he felt left out. I gave him what he wanted and was understanding and fine with it, but then he turns it on me.
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A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 Stop dating him... Hear me out, the age gap is too great for your age. Sure it's fine if a 35 year old is dating a 47 year old but right now.... you're too young for him. That's just my personal opinion.
Also, you say he's "30 or so." Does this mean you are unsure of his age? Could he possibly be older? Is he lying about his age?
And yes, you're right when you say people would have a issue, but I do disagree about the "that's not the problem" part. I think it can be part of the problem. You two got really serious with in the first month of dating and it's possible he's currently pushing you away because of how serious it got. Maybe he isn't ready or mature enough to be involved in a serious relationship right now, which is why he isn't dating anyone his age; women his age are looking go settle down.
You two need to sit down and talk about this issue, explain to him that you feel like he's pushing you away and have him respond to that. Ask him if he wants to continue to be serious or if he needs this relationship to be taken down a notch.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Glacier +, writes (26 July 2012):
He seems afraid of commitment. Are you guys seeing each other like every day? Maybe he needs a few days 'off' regularly?
Ask him if this would help the situation.
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