A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a big crush on this boy.We're both members of a performing organization in our university. He plays the violin and I play the piano. Because of our common interest in the same music genre, we get along well. We're good friends and we're always together during organization meetings. We also walk home together at times or eat out. The problem is, we're both very introverted and are more of the quiet type. We have interesting conversations but I can't seem to make him laugh because I'm not the type who jokes around often.I don't think he likes me the same way that I like him because It's always I who makes the effort to be with him like for example, I always choose a seat that is next to him because I know that he won't make an effort to sit next to me. Also, he doesn't always agree when I ask him to do something with me although there are times that he does. I think I am boring him because I don't make him laugh while other girls can. I always try to show him that I'm bubbly and fun by laughing at our other friends' jokes and smiling a lot. I find it really hard to attract him because I always need to start the conversation and keep it going since he is the quiet type. To tell things short, I always have to initiate everything. He is oblivious to how i feel and I made it worse by denying in front of friends that I don't like him when they saw us walking home together and started teasing us. How do I make him like me if he's like this?
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (27 July 2012):
It could be that in your attempts to please him and be noticed by him you are trying to be somebody that you aren't. Most people recognize a phony, and introverts in particular will erect mental barriers, or withdraw from anybody who doesn't seem 100% genuine.
Let him see you for what you really are, which includes being a girl who is attracted to him. You can be accessible and close by - in a mental and emotional sense - without overtly pushing yourself on him. Likewise, he may appreciate the chance to be with somebody who lets him be his true self, rather than feeling pressured to respond to somebody in expected ways. Quiet and shy guys often find conversation burdensome, and are not at all intimidated by an absence of words.
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (26 July 2012):
Well, denying you like him wasn't smart.
You'll have to do something now. Just tell him you like him more than just a friend and ask him if he feels the same way.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (26 July 2012):
 Just my 2 cents: it's possible you're misinterpreting the situation. Perhaps he's particularly quiet with you because he likes you and he doesn't want to say something stupid. Maybe he's guarding himself to avoid making a mistake, turning you off and cause you to not like him anymore.
Be bold. Tell him you like him and you enjoy hanging out. Let's see if he smiles!
But just remember, you can't force him to like you. If you tell him you like him but he doesn't reciprocate the same, that's ok- it doesn't mean something's wrong with you. Just at least tell him so you can at least say you gave it your best shot!
Good luck!
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