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I'm confused about who I am and what I want. I am angry and depressed.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family, Health, Marriage problems, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I think i suffer from depression. I was bullied a lot at school, and even though it was a long time ago, i still havent got over it. I'm also not sure what i want to do for a career.

I also feel weird compared to other people in my age group. I think this is partly because i have parents from two different generations, who are from different backgrounds. My mum is 51 and my dad is 67. For example, my dad has always said that i should be polite infront of everyone, and if he heard me swear infront of anyone, not that he has, i know he would kill me. And, if he ever saw me with a long face, especially if it's infront of other people such as family and friends, and if it was somewhere that we had been invited too or something, he would go berserk about that too. On the other hand, my mum doesnt mind if she hears swearing.My dad's side of the family all have succesful jobs and seem to be quite full of themselves really, whereas some of my mum's family seem more common. Some of them are quite rough too. How my parents ever got together in the first place, i dont know, as they and their families are just completely different. My parents are divorced now though, but stayed together for 27 years. Apparently, doe some of the time, they were just together for the sake of me and my younger brother.

I also have a half brother who is very successful. After our dad and his mum got divorced, his mum married a very successful man so my two half brothers grew up with him. My brother is also very confident, whereas my other half brother went off the rails and caused a lot of trouble. My dad verbally abused my brother, the one who went off the rails, just like he did to me. He alwys seems to act better towards my other half brother and my younger brother.

I know a lot of people my age swear a lot , drink a lot , e.t.c but i'm not that kind of person. I've even found myself telling my friends not to swear so much as i dont like hearing it, although, i dont know if i really dont like hearing it, or if it's just that it's been drummed into me that i shouldnt like it. And i start crying whenever my mum swears at me when she is angry.

I was alwyas very quiet and shy when i was younger, and well behaved, which i guess is why i got bullied at school.

I hope this post doesnt sound confusing. I also think i might have a lot of repressed anger, as i seem to get arguementative and angry a lot.

Last night, i even got annoyed because my boyfriend called me sexy for the first time. He usually calls me cute. It's just that i know that some people use the word sexy only when they want to get into your pants. I go mad at him a lot, and sometimes he deserves it, but sometimes he doesnt. I have gone mad at him because of how he has been with other women in the past too, even though we werent together at the time, or at least, i dont think we were as it was quite a while ago. We've been on and off so its hard to remember.

View related questions: bullied, depressed, divorce, shy

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A female reader, lovelyone3 United States +, writes (30 June 2010):

lovelyone3 agony auntIt sounds like you've been through a lot but you also sound really strong and very smart!! I hate to ask this question but have you thought about talking to a professional about all this? Sometimes just talking about your problems feels SOOO much better but then the counselor gives their feedback and actually brings up their opinion on why you could feel a certain way and brings up things you never even realized you felt deep down but when you hear it from them you think "a-ha! that makes sense" or "I never thought about it like that before" or whatever the case is -- bottom line, talking to a professional can really, really help you deal with what is going on in your life and help you or teach you new ways or facing issues and it's all a lot easier to deal with and you learn what is going on in your subconcious, etc. Ugh - I'm rambling! But talking to a professional can help you with your past feelings, present issues, and new ways to cope with future problems when they come up. Good luck.

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A female reader, becca emma louise United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2010):

getting bullied can really knock your confidence, but everyone goes through stages where they just dont know what to do or what the future will bring. think about things you enjoy and any hobbies you may have. or take up a new hobby. any family issues can disrupt your family a lot, but dont feel you have to be like your parents too much, although you may feel the pressure try and become someone you want to be and do something you will enjoy. it is more likely that you are just confused rather than depressed as depression can become quite severe and lead to self harm, suicide... try to stay positive, and coming from someone who suffers from depression, dont write yourself off just yet :) xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010):

Go and do some regular excersise This will really help you. xx

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