A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My niece is 2 years old girl and whenever she goes to bed she puts her hand under her and humps the bed... kind of like mastubation. people always wonder why she does this and im not sure if she is being treated right. she is locked in the room sometimes all day with her dad and i dont know should i be concerned or is she just trying to comfort herself. any other parents expeiernce a little baby like this doing something like this please let me know. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, redshoes83  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 i don't think the fact that your 2 yr old neice masturbates can be directly linked to her perhaps being abused. I think her being locked in a room with her dad, it COMPLETELY STRANGE. why does he not work? where does the mum go whilst this happens? I am not sure if it was your choice of words which sounded bad, you might've meant 'kept in a small flat with just her dad' I am not sure. Either way I don't think this is something you should take on yourself. You could ask to stay over for a week and observe? would that be wierd? i don't know, other than that it's such a tricky situation. You would have to be very careful about accusing someone of something without knowing for sure. Perhaps talk to the little girls mum, but only in brief like 'so what do they do in that rooom all day?!'
Good luck I really hope it all works out and that she is just a little girl exploring her body. I know that most toddlers and babys touch them selves like that as it feels nice anyway and that is perfectly common.
Hope this helps, I am definitely not qualified but thats my view.
Take care, email me if you would like to talk more xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): I'm not totally sure that this is 'normal' behaviour. I work with children as a professional and I have four children myself. I know from the cases I have worked with that sometimes over sexualisation by tots does mean that there is some kind of sexual abuse. Don't jump to conclusions but keep an eye out for any signs of distress, or other behaviour which could signify a problem. Child protection should be everyone's responsibility, sadly too many people would rather save face than make a wrong accusation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): For goodness sake's don't tell the child that what she is doing is wrong! My mother told me that at the age of seven, and it did affect me. (I'm 30)
Dr Pete is right,the comment on being locked in a room all day with her father is very ambiguous. I don't think any child should be locked in a room all day, so I'm a little curious as to what you meant.
As regards the masturbation topic, I can assure you wholeheartedly that all you need to do is ignore it. It's normal, and this is coming from someone with three children of their own.
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A
female
reader, Miss_Oz +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Oh and one more thing, please ignore the advice suggesting that you tell her it is wrong to be doing what she is doing. Instilling feelings of shame or 'being dirty' in a child so young will only cause her problems in her future; she could end up associating sexual desire with being bad, dirty, or wrong, which is completely unfair to her and could seriously affect her adult relationships.
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A
female
reader, Miss_Oz +, writes (6 August 2007):
I agree that masturbation in children is fairly normal, merely a pleasurable/comforting thing and not sexual; especially in a child as young as 2. Children so young will know what she/he is doing feels nice but not understand why it does; it is therefore innocent. It doesn't necessarily mean a child has been abused or 'shown' what to do. I doubt any of the aunts or uncles here who masturbate were 'shown' how to do it; it's a purely natural thing and there is no set age at which someone can or should start.
Now, to the question poster, PLEASE respond to everyone's question, why this little girl spends most of the day in a locked room with her father? That sounds not only suspicious but downright nonsensical. If you elaborate, we may be able to better advise you. Please get back in touch with DearCupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I believe (some) children learn how to pleasure themselves at a very young age. I was doing it from as far back as I can recall (At least the age of 4) and I know for a fact that there was no abuse in my past. I think it's perfectly normal, however shocking it may seem to us adults to deal with it. Perhaps though, it would be best if you have a talk with her so she understands that when she spends the night with other little friends, this is not something she should do in front of other people. There are probably books that will help you have this discussion with her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, failingbeauty +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Okay , it is a little suspicious that your neice spends time with her Dad alone. I wonder where the Mom is? I'm pretty sure you shouldn't call any social services yet until you get the facts right. Like maybe spend some time with your neice with the father while they're locked in the room. He may have some reasonable answer with this.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (5 August 2007):
 To all the people that have critisised me on this page, PLEASE DON'T. We all don't know the fully story of this two year old girl, only by what we have read. As advice 247 points out it is rare for a 2 year old to masturbate, I am a nursery teacher and we have to look out as a precautionary procedure as part of my job if a child comes in with even a bruise/s on his/her body however innocent it maybe we all know kids have a tendancy to fall over. And if those people in question took the time to read the problem the woman is obviously concerned about her niece being locked in the room all day with her father. DOESNT THAT SEEM JUST A TEENY WEENY SUSPICIOUS TO YOU? Many cases of abuse go unreported or because of red tape in the social service sadly its too late the child is murdered at the hands of an abuser or the victim grows up not trusting people and can sometimes becomer an abuser themselves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Would you bother to explain as to why she is locked in a room all day by herself with her dad? This doesn't make sense to anyone. Please explain. And I was molested at 4 and I used to hump my blankey and stuffed animals. I didn't know it was wrong. So it could go either way. I personally feel 2 is too young to know how to masturbate without being shown.. but according to most of the other aunts, it's totally normal. Maybe ask a paedetrician??
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A
female
reader, advice 247 +, writes (5 August 2007):
 it sounds like she is being abused as how would she no what or how to do it the father probely showed them how they do it. i have never heard of a 2 year old masterbating to be honest but i have heard of a 12 or 13 year old to. they must be being taught how to do it. but then again it might be you who is mking it sexuel they might have an itch down below and make the covers go up and down. talk to them if your worried ask them what daddy does to them in the room by thereselves
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A
female
reader, failingbeauty +, writes (5 August 2007):
actually, it is very normal for a 2 year old to masturbate. My nephew is only two, and he's been doing it since he was around one. They dont know its wrong, it just feels good to them. You really have nothing to be concerned about. Child development does say that it is normal for child to masturbate. Duskyrowe , i say that you get real. :)http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/masturbation.htm
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A
female
reader, jessekk69 +, writes (5 August 2007):
 i totally agree with dr pete and love-him. i am a mother and my oldest is 2 and he touches himself. he doesnt know what sex is, and has never been shown how to or abused. its just a comfort thing. You may notice adults do it aswell, Many men have there hands down there boxers while watching tv, there not masterbating, you dont see them get a erection or cum do you? its a comfort thing. I know im talking about men, but its common in both sexs. Try googling it, and you will get your answer. hope this helps xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): duskyrowe, it is you that it is making this sexual. It isn't sexual to a two year old, it is pleasurable - no different from sucking fingers.
Do some research in to child development before you start advising people to go to social services to report child abuse.
Sheeesh.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): !!!
This is when I think amateurs should be really careful when giving advice.
Riskyrowe, you obviously know nothing about child development! It is perfectly natural for children as young as 2 to explore each part of their body. There is a difference between "humping" the bed and full on masturbation to attain orgasm. This girl is simply experimenting with her body! It doesn't mean she has been sexually abused or shown how to masturbate whatsoever.
Her parents might want to explain to her that certain parts of her body are private and shouldn't be touched in public, and that no one else should ever touch them, but other than that, this is normal child development, especially for someone who is 2.
As for being "locked in the room all day with her dad" that is a little too ambiguous to comment on really.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Hey bbe, this is actualy quite common amonghst children.. hjonestly and truly they find ways to do this, there was a comment about something like this, a while bacck, where her daughter was doing it, and it is normal, however, if there are any reasons for you to believe she is being abused, you need to take this to the police. they can do checks, abnormalities of your neice's boddy parts will show proof.
I hope i helped,
Mail me if you would like to talk x
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (5 August 2007):
You are absolutely right to be concerned, it sounds as though she maybe being abused. I have never come across a 2 year old masturbating in my entire life, there is no way she would know about this kinda stuff unless she has been shown. As for being locked in the room with her dad all day this sounds really suspicious. If you see her do it again tell her in a calm manner, "What you are doing there is wrong honey, tell me why you are doing it"? I would be very careful how you deal with this, I think you should contact Social Services and tell them of your concern to be on the safe side. Maybe you don't want to get her father into trouble,but we are talking about a toddler acting in a provocative manner here and to me I feel extremely uncomfortable about this as you do.
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