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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello everybody, I've got a bit of a problem I need to talk about, but unfortunately, there's no way I can talk to my closest person about it.It's connected to my girlfriend. We love each other, everything is perfect except one thing... She's been writing erotic novels since she was 12. I seriously don't get it. The worst part is that those novels have no heterosexual pairs. Of what I've read, there were a BDSM gay couple, a horny bisexual treating a heterosexual girl while his jealous gay partner was watching them through the binoculars, a gay tricycle, etc.This stuff seriuosly freaks me out. I don't know what to do. It's ok while she's around, but every time she leaves for at least an hour, the thoughts of the novels come to mind and I feel depressed for the rest of the day.That's it. I really appreciate you reading this. I would be glad if you could give me some advice on dealing with this crap.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): I've got a dynamic IP, so I may not be treated by the site as the person who originally posted the question, but that's me again.
First of all, thanks for help. It feels much better now that I've actually shared this information with you guys.
No, she doesn't get money for it.
We tried to talk, but all I heard was "Yeah, I'm creepy, I hope you've got no problem with that." I nodded, than we changed subject.
The thing that bothers me is the thought like "Damn it, what happens in this little head of hers?"
A
male
reader, unknown2u  +, writes (16 January 2012):
I’ve been associated with erotic writers for the last ten or so years. It’s really an offshoot of the ‘self-publishing’ industry that’s grown up with the internet. Anyone who has a story to tell can put it on the web anonymously – there are dedicated websites like ASSTR and Literotica that welcome whatever folk care to publish.
The people I’ve gotten to know through these sites are your neighbors. Parents, professionals, everyday folk. People who have stories in their heads that they want to get out there. They have ideas, stories, in their minds. The difference from other people is that they have some literary skill or ambition. Not from what’s in their head. What’s shocking is not that there are BDSM stories out there, it’s how many average, ordinary people have such ideas. They’re not going to do anything about it, they’re certainly not going to force anyone to try something, and they probably wouldn’t do it themselves even if they were given a risk-free opportunity. They’re writing down fantasies – the sort of fantasies that run through people’s heads when they’re masturbating. A generation ago that stuff was in magazines like Penthouse Forum. Now people post it to the web.
That your girl let you in to her world, that she showed you what she was writing, was an incredible affirmation of her affection for you. Such writing is intensely personal. Frankly yours is the first instance I’ve heard of where an author shared it with a significant other. And your reaction is why it’s so rare that an author shares it. Just the same as why partners don’t tend to share their masturbation fantasies. It’s not real, it only belongs in your head, it’s not something you’d ever want in the RW.
You’re clearly put off, and perhaps you can’t get past it. That’s your call. All I can tell you is that she took an enormous leap of faith by sharing it with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): I write erotic stories, about all sorts of situations and scenarios. It doesn't mean anything though, it's just fantasy, a story that is made up in my mind. I would NEVER really do things that I write about. In fact I am quite prudish , but writing erotic stories is something I do, and enjoy doing. Ask her about it, where she gets her inspiration from, what her motivation is. Don't be so judgemental about it though, just act as if your interested in her motivation about it. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 Does she get paid to write these novels or is it just a dirty little hobby she has? If she is an accomplished writer with a publishing company that is paying for her work, perhaps this is what sells. If not, just ask her sometime "So where do you get your inspiration from?".....Alot can be discovered by simply asking. Maybe she is writing out what she fantasizes about and a word of caution here; we often fantasize about things that in reality we wouldn't really find appealing; like rape but it makes for a great fantasy if you picture someone being held down against their will while two men have their way. Just like you probably have a few dirty litle fantasies that really get you going; maybe having sex with a very young Asian school girl who wears no panties under her sexy short uniform. Your girlfriend chooses to write about them so don't be shy about asking. But try not to be a total prude. You will learn more by acting interested and not threatened.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 January 2012):
 I suppose you believe she's not exclusively heterosexual and that, to top that, maybe she writes about some personal experiences of hers that you wouldn't approve of.
It seems to me that you are wondering whether what she lets you see about her is all you would need to see.
Is there a way for you to discuss this with her and see what she says about it?
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