A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My dilemma is the following. I'm around my 20's, my BF is my same age, and we are each other's first love and relationship. Seriously. We've been together for 2 and a half year now. And we are not the kind of person that would just go around flirting and stuff when younger. The thing is, our dates are basically the same, and I rarely see him or talk to him because he's busy. Suddenly, I don't want to talk that much to him, or go out, or even have him touch me. Our last date felt more like a best-friends date than a romantic one. And I am wondering... since he's the first, if this will last? Or should we just move on? I'm actually getting bored, and we don't precisely have the liberty to do whatever we want. But he doesn't seem to try to look up alternatives. All he talks is about buying stuff and work. And our "deep" talk is over fore a while now... Does this mean our love is fading? I do love him and I know he loves me too, but I don't know if I already love him as a friend more than a lover. Help me clear my mind.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): You don't know what you have till it's gone. This also happened to me. First love, lasted 2 years, took him for granted, been rude to him, acted as if he didnt exist --- the result? he cheated on me, and blamed me for it. It ended our 2 yr relationship, and to this day I love him very much, and Im sure if I didnt take him for granted, we would still be together till now..
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 I think you two need to discuss your relationship. Explain to him how you feel, and see how he feels in return. If you both decide that you want to continue to work on your relationship you can discuss things that may bring the fire back, or on the other hand, you may decide that things just aren't working out for you both as lovers and then see if you can remain friends.
I think a romantic outing is an excellent idea. Go somewhere where you can both be alone the entire time. Do things together that you have never done together before. It can really bring you close together, and that's something that you both need just now.
Good luck, and I hope everything works out for the best.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 well first of all i think that you need to talk to him about this because he cant think that this is normal, so he obviously feels it too! do you still feel sexually attracted to him? you need to figure out whether or not you are in love with him anymore, and if you dont then move on. if you do and you think that there is something to salvage here then you guys need to make time to spend together and maybe go on a romatic trip for just the 2 of you
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 It looks like there is no romance in your relationship and that you have taken each other for granted.
A holiday or a romantic adventure would put some sparks back into your relationship.
You need to repair and maintain your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I recently broke up with my last long term girlfriend. She was my first love too.
Yeah i started getting bored. Major bored. My friends would go out and get with other girls and i'd be so jealous that i was tied down and couldn't get everyone i wanted. I was also wary of the fact that if it did last forever...i would only have experienced one girl in my life, which isn't something people generally boast about. Not these days anyway, lol. I stopped trying with her, i stopped even thinking about her so much. I stopped caring.
This eventually led to her breaking up with me after a 3 year relationship. And seriously, you only realise what you had once it's gone. You've been with him for 2 years!! Something has to be there. Something probably very strong indeed. Can you really see yourself with another guy? Can you really say you see him so much as a friend you'd be prepared to let another girl have him?
Having gone through all this..and lost the best girlfriend in the world in the process..i'd advise you to take a break from eachother. Tell him how you're feeling completely, but make sure he knows you love him so much that you're willing not to give up so easy, and you just need time.
What the break should do is make you realise your true feelings for him. He'll probably get terrified at the thought of losing you and try really hard, which can only be a good thing! Don't dump him outright. You might end up regretting it forever.
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