A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone! My question is pretty short I guess, but I'd like to know the answer in different ways.Would you want to know if your HUSBAND was bi-curious/bisexual?(Would you want to know if your HUSBAND was bi-curious/bisexual years later in the marriage?)Would you want to know if your BOYFRIEND was bi-curious/bisexual?Would you want to know if your FIANCE was bi-curious/bisexual?Would you want to know if a boy who was INTERESTED in you was bi-curious/bisexual?I consider myself to be a pretty honest guy. I'm in my early 20's and not in a relationship at the moment but I'm wondering if being too honest could cause problems with any relationships I may have with women. I've never been involved with a guy in any manner or form but I can't deny there's something there, an attraction of some sort. I don't want to have random relationships with guys because it goes againt my religions and person beliefs. (Plese don't give me any advice about embracing it. I don't want to even though feels are there, its counter productive to me.)_So as women, would you want to know at any of these milestones in a relationship that you spouse was bi-curious/bisexual or would you just be grossed out and wished I never opened my mouth?
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female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (30 December 2012):
I would rather be told early on, but you could always just experiment with men now. See how you feel, then choose your partner -- male or female. Tell them if you are straight or bisexual. If you like receiving anal but are with a woman, you can get her a strap on.
GL
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 I would hope that by the time I was serious with a man he would be open and honest about his sexuality.
IF I was married to a man who HID this from me... and LIED to me about it, I would not be happy.
My husband knows I'm bisexual. But just like I have given up other men for him as a condition of our marriage, I have opted to give up women too. IF a person thinks that same sex relationships outside of marriage is not cheating, then they are not truly embracing their own sexuality.
so if you have male on male fantasies (normal btw) you should talk to your partner about it... you do NOT spring this on someone AFTER you marry them.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 I was with my ex-boyfriend 2 years before he decided to tell me that he was actually bi-sexual, the only reason he decided to tell me is because he was finding himself more attracted to men than women.
He wasn't even subtle, it was more of "Babe, by the way, I'm bi and i don't find women attractive"
Even though i'm not in any way homophobic, it upset me alot and changed my feelings towards him a substantial amount, i found myself judgmental and frankly a little bit disgusted, even though his sexual orientation wouldn't of directly affected me, it changed the way i saw him as a future partner.
It made me look at our future in the bigger picture and raised alot of what if's, biggest being, what if we decided to marry and have children then he realises a man is what he really wants?
He constantly reminded me that if we ever split up he would NEVER go out with another woman again, like i turned him that way or women were disgusting, which as you can imagine wasn't great for my self-esteem, constantly questioning myself and if my appearance had turned him gay?!
Thankfully that wasn't the case and he had been bi for about 2 years prior our relationship.
We would even debate what guy was more attractive like you would with your bestfriend, which made the suituation a whole lot weirder, thats eventually all i saw of my relationship, having a gay bestfriend.
The fact he could be open and honest about gay feelings rather than straight made it as if he was a totally different person to whom i fell in love with at the beginning, it was a dramatic change i couldn't adapt to and was one of the few reasons i ended it.
That being said i think it would be better to be honest about your sexual orientation from the beginning like you would with anything else you feel your partner should know before it gets serious.
To speak for myself i'd rather my partner give me their all at the beginning, so i can fall in love with who they really are with no unexpected suprises 2 or 3 years down the line, alot of people like me, don't accept change as well as others and it may end up hurting you and your partner if they can't adapt.
All i can suggest is to be honest and be yourself.
xxx
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 December 2012):
While you didn't ask for advice from a man I just have to say this: if you're head over heals for someone and you feel like you can't live without them, I'd be damn sure that there was a good chance that they were pretty open minded before you said anything.
However in a typical relationship you shouldn't keep something like that to yourself. What if she was turned on by the idea? Imagine being with a woman who not only accepted it but she wanted to participate in some way. That could be fun.
All that being said I'm totally straight so I don't have any experience but I have had bi girlfriends that I should have explored more with.
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