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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have noticed that I have been unable to express negative emotions towards friends/boyfriends (for fear of them not liking me and looking like I haven't got a sense of humour) and as a consequence I have been treated like a doormat to such a degree that the friendship/relationship is destroyed by their knowing they can treat me like dirt and doing so, and my inability to express my negative emotions regarding this. I need to gain respect from people; how do you get this?!?!? Don’t get me wrong I have told them a couple of times in the past when I am not happy about things but when i have challenged them about this they defend themselves saying ‘I was only joking’ (most of the time I know they are not) but now I question my judgement on whether they are joking or not so I don’t say anything for fear of them not liking me or that they will think I haven’t got a sense of humour. I am now so passive and I hate myself for it!!! I am always described as ‘nice’ and ‘sweet’ but I am now called this so often, I find it patronising!!! How do I tackle this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (7 January 2007):
 Hey Hey!! I am also in the same boat as anonymous writer and you, Amethyst!!! I feel the same as both of you! I like treating people with respect and if they overstep that..I give them another chance. But if they blow that second chance, I will avoid them at all cost and not answer their calls!(i have caller ID) People like them don't deserve people like us! They are lucky to have us as friends and relationships! And if they take advantage of our kindness they are not worth having around, period! I think by not talking to them or have anything to do with them when they direspect your kindness will hurt them more than harsh words!
Luck and Hugs
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007): Why worry what other people think. if your happy with yourself that is all that matters. When others do something that bothers you STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!! dont scream and yell just say enough to tell them that hurts and i mean business. i hope my question helped:)
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A
female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (7 January 2007):
 Ha, I thought I was the only one that went through such a stage, or at least that I'd never encounter someone who was as passive as me. :p
What you have to do is just be honest. If something makes you feel as if you're simply being used, don't just sit there and take it, and laugh about it along with them, stand up for yourself. If people know you're serious, they'll learn to respect you more, and if they don't like you for being true to yourself and being honest, they're not good enough friends to keep. It's a tough life being yourself and not molding to make society happy, and you won't exactly be miss popular, but you'll be happier with yourself and you'll find out what TRUE friends are, along with getting some of the respect you deserve.
I hope this isn't too vague and that it helps, best of luck to you sweetie! Remember, it's not the easiest path in life, but it is the most honest! You'll always eventually be blessed with this action. ^_^
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