A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in that common insecure situation here that every gal gets! So me n my boyfriend are together for 2 1/2 years now and its brilliant!, only not as brilliant as it was in the first year of togetherness!. So, we're studying in the same course-Architecture, same year same class!, n we've always been inseparable!, i sit on th bench behind him in class n our 5 year course demands a hell lot of group works out of us. So our 1st year was fab as our class worked a number of times in groups of 2-where it was always him n me.he kept coming over n we got a hell lot of memories of romancing, hence! but towards th end of the 1st year we needed to work in a bigger grp for some submission n therefore came this guy whom we both became good friends with. Now ever since then, its been us 3 who work together n this other guy's a total geek! always downloading fancy softwares n blah! now my boyfriend n dis guy keep doin fun stuff together n doing assignments together most of which even i work with them! BUT! me n my boyfriend used to work on architectural models together before, n stopped it coz we influenced each others idea a lot n hence our work was not unique! so yeh, we agreed to not work models n designs together n its been 2 years we haven't been doin it. Now next thing i know is he is suddenly making his huge model with this other guy n didn't even invite me! i was so shocked! n its been hurting me a lot n we keep having arguments on y he spends more time with him than me etc etc! n we've had really BIG rows! i know i'm really being needy but me n my BF have always been so together that i don really hav any girlfriends whom i can work with or be with so i naturally feel so lonely n cant concentrate on my work!other thing that he does is, it always used to be me who used to go with y BF on his bike, now ever since this guy has come he always ends up with my boyfriend on his bike as he unfortunately does not hav a bike, so when ever our class explores the whole city i never get to ride with my boyfriend n always hav to give lift to som1 else on my own bike its so depressing! i feel like some driver!...n he n d guys keep having their guys thing too often! i don mind but i like being a part of it as i'm sporty too! i like n enjoy what they do but i'm never taken as a part of it!...n now i feel like i have come between my own boyfriend n that other guy!...its sick i feel like i'm interfering in their friendship!...when actually that other guy is interfering in my relationship! i tell my boyfriend all this all the bloody time n keep whining abt it but it only makes him angry smothered!...i love him n hate such moments where i whine around n be needy.i feel like i've lost my right on him n all that 1st ever belonged to me...i wnt my fab life that i had, n respect back!PS: they are not gay or anything, just good friends, who download too much!...and what i've described is just a part of the situation, its really big whatever keeps happening every now and then, i feel like m not needed any more, yeh know, I feel like i'm a use-and-throw item!...when i tell him this he says "nothing of that sort, stop thinking all this nonsense"...n he loves me a lot he says...n no matter how big our fight is...he never thinks close to breaking up, which is the best thing he could do for me!....but is that all i deserve?...what do i do?...some one, anyone! please tell me the right thing! :(
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female
reader, ashlydance33  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 I can't tell you the 100% right thing to do because I don't know the entire situation and it's only my personal opinion but from the sound of it, you might just be better off finding someone else. You deserve to be treated like you're captivating to your man. Of course he can't always give you 100% of his attention but he should at least understand you when you try to tell him how you feel instead of insisting that you're reacting without grounds. He doesn't have to 100% agree with you but he should hear you out and try to compromise.
Hope this helps and good luck!
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