A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I will get straight into my issue. I am a self confessed introvert with social anxiety. Recently my cousins, who are my age have been going out and meeting up without inviting me. They're all pretty loud and extroverts and enjoy clubbing, which im not into. But even when theyve gone out for a simple lunch they havent told me to come along. They used to invite me along before but all of of a sudden I see pictures on social media of their get togethers that I have heard nothing about. I got so upset that I have even commented "where was my invite" on one of the pictures and found that the comment was ignored. I've been getting really worked up about this and getting very upset about it to the point where I have been reduced to tears. Even though we have different interests I still feel it's not very nice of them to leave me out completely. Had it been friends I could perhaps come to terms with it and would be able to cut them out completely and move on, however since its family it's just not possible.Due to feeling so down about it i've removed myself from social media completely; but I still feel as though I shouldnt have to suffer like this.Can anyone please offer me some advice on what to do as it's seriously getting me down.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (15 August 2013):
 It seems like you weren't really into hanging out with them in the first place. You say that they're loud, extroverted and liked doing things that you weren't as comfortable doing - so it could be that you were giving off vibes that said "I don't want to be here", and let's face it - that's a downer. So they probably stopped calling you because it was clear you didn't want to be with them!
But secondly, you don't need to rely on others for an invite. Why not call them and see if they want to go out? Ask them out for lunch. Social Media can be really great, but it's no way to actually communicate. Maybe your comment "where was my invite" wasn't read as you being sad and disappointed, maybe they just interpreted it differently. If you're hurt, you should talk to them. They're family. Don't just leave little messages on Facebook and assume that they'll know that you're hurting!
You shouldn't have to suffer like this, but it's up to you to make the changes. They tried to involve you, now you have to try and involve them! Good luck, sweet.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): If you have never joined them in the past on their outings when they were still willing to invite you, it is no wonder that they have stopped inviting you to anything. They just don't bother, and they have forgotten about you. It probably isn't malicious, you simply have fallen off their radar since you never made yourself visible.
I am not the most social person myself and I often decline invites but I make sure to accept at least some and tough it out even if I don't feel up to it. Yesterday was one such day. I know that I need to do at least a hare minimum to stay visible or I will stop being included in anything.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (15 August 2013):
 Why not just ask them through a text or phone call. Let them know you miss them and would love to hang out more. Or go out of your way to invite them yo lunch, etc. You don't have to wait for them.
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