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I'm being blackmailed into sex, help!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 May 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

well uhm, i'm being blackmailed. I feel pretty low about it, but i can't get out of it. Basically this guy who i've been friends with for two years has always been there for me, and now he's being all lovey dovey and sending me innopropriate texts. He's two years younger than me and has a history of self harm and is threating to kill himself if he doesn't have sex by the time he is fourteen (i don't believe him).

He's the younger brother of mr popular in my year and i know mr popular would be all pissy about me being friends with his brother, so it's been pretty quiet. Now the younger brother has texted me saying if i don't have sex with him he'll tell his brother everything i've ever told him.

I don't know what to do, i'm scared as i'm a virgin and i don't want to have sex yet (too immature, i think) and having sex when you're sixteen with someone that young is wrong ad illegal.

please help me, or i don't know what will happen...

View related questions: immature, text

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A male reader, aebniala Canada +, writes (9 August 2011):

He discovered POWER and he is using it, if you let him.

You just discovered his black side and you afto decide if you want to go down with him. You are too unexperience to cope, with a vampirer he his. So let others take care of him. Depending were you live, they are, free unanonemus, help line for teen. Use that or the cops or are ressources also at scool, church, his the priest right minded and more.

Hope this helps. Dump him, NEVER give in to blackmail. Its better to face your fears. He wont be the last you meet, they are others weardos and power crave. Thats part of growing up.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (26 May 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf he's threatening selfharm, you have no choice but to tell a responsible adult. Your parents, his parents, a teacher, the school counselor, someone who can get him help.

Don't worry about all the other stuff, all of the adults were teenagers once and know exactly what kind of stuff teens talk about. Really and truly, we know what kind of pressures teens are under.

TELL AN ADULT. This is beyond your capability to manage and if this boy hurts himself, you will feel much much worse.

Okay? Go be brave. Good luck.

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A female reader, ChristineAvril United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2010):

ChristineAvril agony auntTry to get as much evidence of these threats as possible - text messages are good, keep them.

If he doesn't back off when told, go to the Police with all your evidence and they will take it from there.

As "CG" said, NEVER give in to blackmail.

All credit to you for realising that you are not ready for sex and want to wait until you are, preferably with someone who means something to you.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010):

Stand strong and cut off the friendship/relationship/private contact you are involved in with this troubled teen. His own actions are not your responsibility. Your actions and the affects they have on your life are your responsibility. Value yourself or you will never be able to make a good difference in anyone else's life.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2010):

Don't listen to a word he says. Never be blackmailed. If he does say something or do something, just say you spoke to him a few times and he has taken it all out of context. What he does is his own business. Don't be blackmailed. Stay strong, stick to your values.

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