A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a difficult one to come out with, as I'm genuinely beginning to think I'm terminally unattractive... I'm 26, have a great job, a fab circle of friends, enough freedom/money to go enjoy myself travelling, etc, but am permanently single. My last relationship was three years ago, and I've yet to have a date this year. I socialise a lot- going to the football or gigs, drinking with friends, hitting the gym a few times a week- and have a variety of interests. I don't have a problem striking up conversations with new people, and last time I checked I don't have two heads. I know I'm still reasonably young, but having spent the summer wedding season making the same tired jokes about why I'm not 'plus one', I am beginning to wonder if I'll meet anyone. Ever.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 The thing about attracting a mate is not attracting anyone, its attracting the right one.
Perhaps that's what you're waiting for. You've said everything about yourself, but hardly anything about the man you want to attract and finally meet.
Sometimes its not just striking up a conversation. A good convo is intellectually stimulating, but the reality is that you want to sink in beyond just a mere acquaintance and strike a good chord.
So the real issue is what kind of guy do you want in your life? Once you've nailed that one down, then you need to start searching. Its sort of an active thing. They don't drop guys in your lap that easy.
Its true as a girl, you will attract men who want sex. But I am suddenly struck with the idea that you want something more than a quickie or a friend with some benefits.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
From a male!!
You need to just relax more! You're worrying and as such may come across as desperate (and i'm not saying you are, so please don't think that). Men find that scary. It's good that you're socializing. Keep doing that. If there's a guy you like, don't be afraid to start talking to him. But you must relax. There is someone out there for you, you just have to find him. Don't rush!
And as for all those asking that annoying questions, use this line 'It's better to find the right guy once, than the wrong guy twice'.
lots of luck. xx
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 That can be frustrating and I sympathize. I can definitely say, however, that you are NOT "terminally" unattractive as I don't think there has ever been a documented condition of someone who died from being unattractive.
It is possible that you are too hungry for "love" and people "smell" your need and avoid you (this is more common than people care to admit), or that you are too picky.
Try enjoying what you have and be patient. There is love for you out there!
In the meantime, wedding season is over or almost over. You have some time to find a witty response to the very rude questions about why you are not +one (those ARE rude questions, btw).
How about you left him waiting in the car? Or, you thought you'd try leaving with the groom? Or something along those lines? You don't need to answer stupid questions like that.
But if it makes you feel any better, ugly grotesque mutant-looking people have a harder time than most making friends, and finding success in their careers. Chances are you are good looking and may be intimidating for the average guy to ask out.
If people are asking you why you are not with a date, it is because they think you are attractive enough to have one. If they thought you were ugly, they wouldn't ask.
Good luck!
;-)
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