A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have a slight problem. Its kind of long so please bare with me. Ok, Iam 20 years old. I been working at my job now for two months. I work at a store and I really love it. Ever since I have started working there I had the biggest crush on the 24 year old assistant manager. Not only he is very attractive, but he is the nicest guy ever. he always treates all his employees well and he makes work fun. He has never singled me out, nor have I ever treated him as anything other than a boss. But one day last week we both in the stock room getting ready to put up christmas stuff. We were having a completely innocent conversation about how my college classes were going. Next thing I know, he gently pushed me up against the wall. he unbuttoned my shirt and unclasped my bra. He started caressing my breast and playing with my nipples. It only lasted a few seconds, then he put all my clothing back in place. We both went on as if nothing ever happened. i was shocked. Why did he do this? I certainly am attracted to him but i know i couldnt have done anything to provke his behavior. Was what he did wrong? Was it sexually harrasment? I dont consider it sexual harrasment because it wasnt unwanted. I enjoyed it and i didnt try to stop him. I am well past the age of consent. Things have however, been very weird between us this past week at work. What should I do about all this? Why did he do it? If somebody would help answer by questions, I would appreciate it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): Hi Hun,
This isnt right at all, It matters not how you feel for him he should not have touched you at all.
Its quite alright to like him and if he liked you then he could have asked you out, This is totally wrong how many other young women has he groped in the stock room, basicly rcn has said it all love what kind of man is he!
Attractive or not a pervert yep for sure and not shy to take advantage of a young woman he should be reported before he does this again to some other young woman TAKE CARE HUNNY LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): It's probably been a bit weird between you since the incident because he obviously knows what he did wasn't appropriate, and he might also be worried that you might tell the manager what happened, or even sue him.
What should you do about it? Well, there's the two options above for a start, although I'm guessing you wouldn't want to get him into any kind of trouble. You could tell him you thought that what he did was nice, but if he'd like to do it again he should choose a more appropriate time and place and that in general, you like to be kissed first.
Why did he do it? Perhaps your body language or something you said to him hinted that you fancied the pants off him, and he's a normal red-blooded male, and he obviously fancies you too!
Put his mind at rest by telling him whether or not you're going to report him or sue him, and depending on which course you're going to take, the 'weirdness' should disappear and hopefully you can get back onto normal terms with him. He's only human, but he does have certain responsibilities and he overstepped the mark this time.
Phil
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (13 October 2007):
What he did was illegal. You need to decide whether you wnt to consent or not. Since you did not protest I think you should tell him never to do that again witout asking first (assuming you want him to do it again). Remember both of you are risking you jobs fooling around with each other. Is it worth the risk to both of you.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 October 2007):
 This guy will eventually get himself in trouble. He is using his position to take advantage of subordinates. You need to decide whether or not this is sexual harrassment. You say it was not un-wanted so it is fair to say you can't really yell sexual harrassment.
However, if you desire to persue a relationship with this guy bear in mind, he has un-doubtedly done this with others. It is likely he will continue this behavior even if he does end up in a relationship with you. Doc
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A
female
reader, Emily69  +, writes (13 October 2007):
heeey okay you are old enough to know guys are allways horney an if you didnt do anything about it then he was like sweet she doesnt care so no its is not sexual harrasment because you kinda let him do it no affance... so if you want to hook up with him then be expecting this kind of play with boobs and such of because it just gets more touchy feely trust me
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 October 2007):
 I have heard many stories of bosses making passes at employees, but this is the first time I'd ever heard of one like this.
What he did wrong was (1) he's your boss, you're his employee (2) He's not paid to play with nipples in the storeroom. (3) His actions are inappropriate for the workplace.
I know you enjoyed it, but what he did is considered to be sexual harassment. There is an appropriate time for everything, and the workplace is not a good place to do this.
With you not leading him on, as you say, I wonder what kind of person he really is. I find many many many women attractive, and I don't just think "gee she sure is pretty, I think I'll play with her nipples a bit." Stuff like that just doesn't happen, and when it does If I were you, I wouldn't want to be left alone with him.
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