A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi thereiv been seeing this guy for about 3 weekstechnically we r not going out.But i feel really insecure and am getting upset over the smallest things (like when we are out he'll comment how this other girls 'hot') Is he doing this to make me jelous, do all guys do this? i dont show him it upsets me of course but this feeling of insecurity and not knowing what he wants is killing me. i dont know if his after a relationship as he only broke up with his ex when he met me so it wasnt long ago. is this how it always is, or am i just worrying over nothing? I feel his too nice to be using me but at the same time we arent going out so he could be doing anything...i really want to be with him but i dont know what to do its too soon to tell him i like him! Im so confused any advice? x
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broke up, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): You havent been seeing him long and your feelings of insecurity are only showing how much you like him. Perhaps he is testing you to see how the water lies. You need to make it clear that you dont appriciate comments about other girls however to an extent I think all guys do this. Try not to over react, state the facts - you dont like it and you want it to stop. Thats not an unreasonable ask.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): i think you're worrying over nothing. i myself would not be with one girl and then comment on other girls. not all guys do that so thats a not a good start. did he break up with his ex to be with you? you're obviously a really nice girl. you need to be confident about that fact and tell him what you want. if he can't deliver its his bad luck. there are a lot of men out there who use women. girls are easily fooled. dont be one of those girls.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 October 2007):
He is either rude or ignorant. You need to tell him to keep his comments to himself and his eyes on the girl he's with. This is not too much to ask.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 October 2007):
 It may just be too soon to know what is going to happen in this relationship. It would do you well just to let things happen as they will.
This is a realatively delicate time in a new relationship because if a guy doesn't know what he wants he will seem kind of indistinct. If he gets to where he focuses more on you, you will see changes in him because almost instantly he will start to put his best foot forward for you.
So right now is actually the best time to observe him to see what kind of person he actually is. Doc
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